Someone stole my Swedish car: it’s a real Saab story. I don’t mean to get emotional; I guess I’m too inVolvo’ed. Heck I’ve even considered going scuba diving, to see if it’s buried underwater – but I’m afraid of getting the Benz. I know, it’s my own fault; I really should be driving a Mazda Me-oughta, especially after the hos had blown on my loaner, a Poontiac. GM cars really make me Buick. (As for British imports – get Bentley!)

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Automotive Puns

Driving drunk, I smashed up my Chrysler. The judge found me guilty in a Cordoba law.

My fancy new car comes with a shower. It has an all-lather interior.

A gino keeps a close eye on his Speedometer.

Do punsters ride on a fool tank of gas?

Which car parts are most abused? Pist-ons.

Politician Ralph got sick of changing his alter-Nader.

The owner’s manual editor could no longer write about car parts. He had engine block. (play on words)

Why did the pimp stop at the service station? Because – his hos had just blown.

The art vandal’s car was topped up with anti-frieze.

Omigod – it’s raining frogs! You better have good windshield vipers.

A car salesman’s favourite piece of furniture: automan.

Isn’t an airbag really an error bag?

What keeps a mechanic from a bad hair day? Car parts. (pow)

Little known fact: the Incredible Hulk drives a pick up truck.

Axel Roads does a lot of touring.

Three words: “Self-cervix station“??

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