Hear about the bored economist who went for a lapdance? When asked how he felt, he said “I hope the D pressin’ never ends!”

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If you travel to an economically depressed country, be sure that you speak the languish!

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Rural America is being asked to bale out Wall Street. Most Americans don’t understand the crisis, so it had to be explained to them in Lehman’s terms. The bulls have lost; how quickly the Bears Sterns! The bank CEOs have been advised to keep off the streets, lest they be Merrilly Lynched.

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