the weather

They said the North Atlantic Treaty Organization could withstand any disaster, but it was done in by a Torn-NATO.

I thought it would be a breeze to master the Beaufort scale, but it turned out to be a no-wind situation. After all, I don’t speak Gale-ic!

Those meteorologists on storm watches, they live in the most squall-id conditions!

I forgot to put on my defrost, and the visibility was so bad I almost crashed. I really fogged that one up!

How about those clouds – they really accumulo-ate!

Why could Frosty the Snowman see everything? He had ice in the back of his head!

I love drinking the rain – it’s precipitasty!

Why do they measure the Israeli PM’s tallness with a thermometer? B/c it’s the Sharon-height scale!

His marks were so low on the scale, that whenever his parents were sent a grade he was given the third degree.

When the glacier was asked his opinions on Global Warming, he replied “I dunno, I’ve never really thawed about it.”

Even intermitten precipitation can soak through your clothes.

What’s the meteorological indicator of heat effects? Humidex.

What’s the philosophical indicator of scepticism? Humedex.

What’s the indicator of sunshine? Illumidex.

The indicator for vomit? Spumedex.

The dress-code indicator? Groomidex.

Stage of pregnancy? Wombidex.

Degree of cleanliness? Broomidex.

Strength of odour? Perfumidex.

Severity of depression? Doomadex.

Likelihood of unearthing a corpse? Exhumedex.

Degree of Westernization? Consumidex.

Probability of jumping to conclusions? Assumidex.

Level of wrestling proficiency? Sumodex.

Terrorism alert? Boomadex.

Degree of repressed anger? Fumedex.

Percentage of cotton? Loomadex.

Pessimism? Gloomidex.

Speed? Vroomidex.

Hotel vacancy rate? Roomidex.

Level of smokiness? Plumedex.

Likelihood of mountain lions? Pumadex.

Likelihood of strippers? Bazoomidex.