Gary from Austin:
An Indian woman went to Canada go to buy ready-to-wear gowns off the
Toronto saris racks‘. Oddly enough she accidentally wandered into a Japanese boutique and came out with a kimono draggin’.

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Gary from Austin:
An Indian woman went to Canada go to buy ready-to-wear gowns off the
Toronto saris racks‘. Oddly enough she accidentally wandered into a Japanese boutique and came out with a kimono draggin’.

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Gary from Austin, TX:

There’s a popular new film about the junior senator from Illinois
that is rumored to be secretly using a brand of women’s shampoo –
Breck Barack Mountain.

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Gary from Austin, TX

Users of a certain computer operating system are famously untroubled by
viruses. Still, there has been a very strange thing happening lately to
these computer users and experts are finding it tough to explain. It’s
not a virus really, but somehow these particular computers have been
unexpectedly displaying images of fiddles. They’re oddly reminiscent
those crazy flying toasters from several years back, as these musical
instruments just mysteriously show up on the computer screen suddenly,
without warning and seemingly for no reason. There’s no spam associated
with it. It doesn’t erase your hard drive or seem to do anything other
than display cryptic photos of fiddles at odd moments. Police are
having trouble establishing a possible motive for this mischief or
citing any suspected perpetrators. Still, they’re troubled by these
Random Macs of violins.”

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Andrew from Dugald:
Gina Davis and William Hurt star in the story of two people travelling in China and constantly swearing at each other and making random noises. It’s this spring’s must see movie: “The Occidental Tourettes“.

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OPERA HA

Dear Pungents, I need a punny headline for my article about our volunteers at the Canadian Opera Company. It’s an article that talks about how great our volunteers are and encourages others to get involved. Got any suggestions? ~Mariza, Toronto

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “Their hard work brings volunteers to our eyes.”

2) “Volunteering at the COC – can you Handel it?”

3) “Our volunteers really run the show; it’s the tail Wagnering the dog.”

4) Quote from a volunteer: “I love showing people to their seats… ‘Aisle B, Back’ next season for sure.”

5) “Our volunteers orchestrate the production.” (play on words)

6) “Join our Wolf gang!”

7) “Our volunteers are some pretty phat ladies.”

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Gary from Austin, TX:
“Circular Reasoning”

Cartoons of Muhammad, head Muslim
Sparked rage from Denmark to Jerusalem
“You can’t depict prophet
We will not hear of it”
These images must just bamboozle’em

If prophet Muhammad’s iconic
You can’t call cartoonists demonic
Who violate dictum
That says, “Don’t depict ‘im”
This really is just too ironic

Since it is forbidden to show him
How can those offended then know him?
Just some dude with beard
In turban appeared
In need of a shave and a comb

One single conclusion remains
These hot heads must get through their brains
The guy that they see
Muhammad, can’t be
There’s really no need to diss Danes

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