If you’re going to pick a fight, choose a hairy Mediterranean: they are the only swarthy opponents.
How do you stop a catfight between supermodels?
“Alright, let’s vapid up!”
Do mathematicians in Sweden use a lot of Sven diagrams?
Hear about that high-tech thriller, about a submarine crew that gets lost at sea due to extreme computer failure? It’s called DOS Boot. As the movie unfolds it’s clear that the vessel’s discipline was lax: not a mouse was stirring while some key bored personnel were in the washroom taking a FTP. The submarine was suddenly swamped by torrents of WAVs, and couldn’t make it to the dock. Windows were stupidly left open, resulting in an impossible Turing radius as they were overwhelmed by the C. It was a Unix situation, and as they twirled out into the ethernet the captain radioed the nearest B-52 Flying Fortran for help. “This hertz, Mac,” he cried. “It megahertz! I need a pier-to-pier transfer.” But due to BASIC errors and faulty navigation they could not find anchor, and crashed, leaving no possibility for a SQL.
Palin spent $150,000 on campaign outfits?
If she keeps that up, she certainly won’t clothes The Gap.
Hear they’re opening an Indian restaurant in naAntarctica? It’s a way to curry favour with the locals.
Andrew from Dugald:
If you suffer from a twitchy sphincter, would a thera-poo-tic m-ass-age help?
Which Harry Potter character divorced his wife? Hag rid.
High-ranking government ministers take taxis everywhere. They enjoy cabinet.
Dear Gents, I need a pun that incorporates the sciences and music. Preferably from the current pop culture or maybe rap/reggaeton. ~Jazmin, La Jolla, CA
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
- Math-ter P
- Yo G = 9.8 m/s2
- The law of afro-ges?
- When you combine Beethoven and Mozart, what do you get? Moz Deaf