Dear Pungents, I need one of your finest puns, regarding a “Sword” and a “God” in the same pun preferably. Thanks a lot fellas, keep up that good shit! Stay blessed. ~Marsellus, Manchester, UK

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) Listen to the Sword of God.
2) Excalibur is quite ornately decorated. It is a sword with divine properties – and so by rights it should be Goddy.
3) I was struck down by God’s sword, in one foil swoop. I was scimitarred and feathered. I was blade to rest.
4) Without his divine blade at his side, the chief Greek deity was absolutely Zeusless.
5) I was wounded by the Norse God’s battleaxe, and I’m still feeling Thor.

(Rate This Pun)

Loading...

Dear Pungents, our friend Steve is moving from Nashville to Fort Myers, Florida. He loves BBQ, coffee & bad puns, and is an inspector for homeland security. ~Alex, Nashville, TN

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “Steve, everyone admyers you for moving out of town.”
2) “You won’t ever see another tennis match, now that you’re leaving Tennis-see! And the barbecues in Fort Myers certainly won’t be as good as in Noshville!”
3) “Steve’s love of caffeine sometimes gets in the way of catching terrorists. For example, he was a bit confused when he thought the Lybian dictator was Moammar Good-Coffee (Khadaffi, get it? …yikes)!”

(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)

Loading...

Dear Pungents, I need a pun for a charity leaflet to help under-nourished children in Malaysia. Something to do with vitamin C, chewable tablets, protein/carbohydrate deprivation, food scarcity and such. Thanks. ~Chen, Kuala Lampur, Malaysia

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) Make a donation and you’ll C the difference.
2) When we C malnourished children on the street, we invitamin for food!
3) The food shortages in Kuala Lampur are distressing. It’s scare city!
4) Vitamin tablets. Chews life.
5) Let’s take the ‘malady’ out of Malaysia.

(Rate This Pun)

Loading...

Dear Pungents, I’m putting on a school play and I need a better title than “The Pied Piper of Hamelin” – references to pipers, pipes, or rats would be marvelous! ~John, Sydney, Australia

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) One Flute Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
2) Ratman Begins – now on Piper-View (it’s a moused-see!)
3) The Verminator
4) Murder, She Rodent
5) The Pied Piper of Hamelin – a brilliant one-man plague

(Rate This Pun)

Loading...

Dear Pungents, a woman I work with does not pronounce the word ‘library’ properly. She says “lie-berry” as in, “If I do an interlieberry loan can I take the book out of the building?”. She’s in her late 20s, not kindergarten. It’s starting to freak me out. I’d like to correct her without sounding like little-miss-micro-manager-pants. ~Ainsley, Ottawa, Ontario

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “I have to be honest with people when they make mistakes. I don’t lie berry well.”
2) “You know which country is most mispronounced? Liberia.”
3) “You know what my favourite fruit is? Strawbraries. I also like bluebraries.” [repeat for as many berries as there are]

(Rate This Pun)

Loading...

Dear Pungents, I am a podiatrist, I work with feet. I know the obvious ones, but if I have to put up with smelly feet, I’d like to inflict puns as revenge. Please help! ~Ali, Sydney, Australia

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “Man you got some stinky feet. What do I look like – a poodiatrist?”
2) “Take care of your feet. Don’t make me say I toe’d you so!”
3) “What’s stinkier than an union bun? A bunion pun.”
4) “I met a cute chick who had a nasty infection. I didn’t care though, she’s a fun gal.”
5) “Podiatry is ironic. Cuticles, for example, are ugly.”
6) “A toes, to podiatry! It puts foot on my table.”

(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)

Loading...