Frank from Eldorado:
I was tutoring my son in trigonometry. I told him he’d have to pass a test before I’d help him get a loan for a car he wanted. However, he diplayed sines that he wanted me to cosine for that loan without him making an effort. So, our conversation went off on a tangent, and he still has no car.
And from Frank’s New and Improved Dictionary:
occidental: having to do with the teeth of a neutered male bovine.
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Loading...Dear Pungents, I need a pun about a bicycling team that works hard, and their perseverance pays off ~Abby, Decatur, Georgia
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “It was tire-ing, but our actions have spoke for us!”
2) “This is our best gear ever!”
3) “We’re riding our own story!”
4) “We faced many obstacles but our spirit did not brake!”
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Andrew from Dugald, MB:
Fencing is definitely not for the feint of heart.
Which Greek philosopher first realized the benefits of drinking dairy products? Milkcrates. (Totally based on the common mispronunciation of Socrates)
What did the Japanese greenskeeper do when Tiger Woods complained about the state of the fairways?
He fell on his own sward.
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Frank from Eldorado, ON:
What do you call a fast food restaurant at the airport?
Tarmacdonald’s.
The string section of a symphony orchestra was ambushed and attacked by a bunch of street thugs. In order to defend themselves the gentle musicians had to resort to violins.
Frank says, “P.S. Happy Labour Day, Pun Gents!”
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Frank from Eldorado:
Once I had a terrible weight problem, which was exesherbeted by my love
for ice cream. Then I lost a lot of weight, and my pants fell down. Needless to
say, I was very embareassed.
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Dear Pungents, I need a pun that basically says, “Dont drink dirty water, because you might get cholera!” ~Mark, Ottawa, Ontario
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “This is one choler you don’t want hear from.”
2) “Waterborne diseases – they grab you by the choler.”
3) “What’s worse than back pain? Bacteria pain!”
4) (more literary) “Did Choleridge keep a diarrhea?”
OR
5) “Even Anne Frank didn’t make that many diarrhea entries.”
6) “E.Coli – it ain’t no eco-lie: the dirty truth about cholera.”
7) “Stop! Water you doing? Think before you drink.”
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Andrew from Dugald, MB:
When a group of witches get together to make Italian pie, is it called a pizza coven?
The Italian fisherman caught a great big eel which he promptly fell in love with. His brother just shook his head, sighed and said, “That’s a moray!”
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Frank from Eldorado:
From Frank’s New and Improved Dictionary:
propane: interrogator who is partial to using physical torture to get results
canopy: vessel containing urine
carbine: act of purchasing an automobile south of the Mason -Dixon Line
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Dear Pungents, I need something for a get well card that I’m writing on a hockey puck. I already have a puck that says “Merry puckin Christmas” and “Happy puckin birthday”; now I need one for “get well”… all I came up with was “slap-shot yourself better real soon.” Not too funny. ~Michele, Chicago, Illinois
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “I heard you’ve been a bit down on your puck – but at least you get to play hockey from work (or school).”
2) “Good health should be your number one goalie.”
3) “I’m glad your illness is in de crease.”
4) “Pucker up! Get better so I can kiss you.”
5) “I hope your disease won’t leave any puck marks.”
6) “‘Shot’ happens… get well soon.”
FINALLY
7) “I’ve been worrying my faceoff.”
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Enjoy the sunshine? Yucatan in Mexico.
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Loading...