Lepers love free software. Especially if it’s open sores.
diseases
Which disease devastated Russia for centuries?
CZARS.
Frequent urination is the hallmark symptom of which STD?
Gone urea.
How do you surgically remove bad memories?
Get a happendectomy.
My ex-girlfriend got Ebola. What a dirty fluidsy.
The good Samaritan loved his neighbour a bit too freely. He contracted helpatitis.
Every sanitorium should have a restaurant–to ensure its coughers are full.
NED: Joe Malignant is no longer my friend.
ED: Why not?
NED: Because – he’s always spreading tumours about me!
The sad irony: as soon as I broke my neck, and lost feeling ‘down below’, the girls suddenly wanted my number!
Why does a dirty old man chase after girls who have had liver transplants?
Because he likes them new-bile!

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