What’s a lawyer’s favorite playground apparatus? The suings.

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NED: What can I do if someone tries to stick a pacifier up my butt?
ED: Take legal action – soother ass!

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Did you hear that God is being sued for not allowing sinners into Heaven? The plaintiffs allege grace-based discrimination.

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Judge: “The defendant is accused of selling bootlegged copies of ‘Mony Mony’…”

Lawyer: “I object, your honour, this is Idol speculation!”

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