I went to small claims court over a faulty bag of overly frozen vegetables; the case was heard by a just-ice of the peas.
Bill Cosby’s stockbroker should be punished too. He was a trader to the Cos.
I eat reams of soup. I should be nominated to the Soup Ream Court!
How does trial by media usually work?
A: Immediately after any allegation, there’s a public lynching, followed by a noose conference.
Don’t fondle anyone inside a courtroom. That’s perv jury.
Don’t question a judge’s decision. It just is.
In corrupt judicial systems, witnesses can be bribed with testimoney.
Chernobyl radiation victims can no longer sue. There is a statute of limb-mutations. The defendants will be held armless.
It is treasonous to tamper with unlabeled stool samples. You will be branded a tray turd.
During my time as an executioner, I made sure to be head of the game, by acquiring a unique skull set, from the time I was a guillotiney bopper. I got gallowing reviews which was always excellent noose. Even though I hung my clients out to dry (though sometimes I got them stoned) I never faced the firing line. Of course, the work is no longer shocking; these days the business won’t survive without capital injections, which makes me sigh at night. My goal nonetheless is to fill every day with poisonable experiences.