Your ass is on the line if you misuse punctuation. And you don’t have an asterisk.
When I’m high, my punctuation gets sloppy. It’s, like, a drug-induced comma.
Somebody punctuated me in the face, and I ended up in a comma.
What’s the emoji for constipation? A: Colon, full-stop.
A misplaced comma can cause a lot of confusion. Did you know that Nicholas Cage auditioned for Dirty, Hairy?