A mad baker came at me with a ryeful, a 12-grain shotgun with pumpernickel action! He look at me with such loaving, and said “You’re a gluten for punishment.” I never shoulda crust the guy. I barley survived the encounter, and there were no wheatnesses.
Which Native American princess would kick you in the nuts? Poke Cajones.
Taking high voltage to your body is an acquired tased.
I used to put wine in my corn flakes. Then they arrested me on account of I was a cereal grapist.
A mugger attacked me with a sharp tool, but I knocked him out with a stale baguette. This proves that loaf conquers awl.
If you are attacked by an artist wielding an etching tool — run! For you are engrave danger. Seek refuge in your local embossing.
My friend Grant had his skin forcibly removed. What a flay Grant violation.
What do you call a matador who gets trampled? A dor mat.
I took a swing at the fog, but I mist.
So… I beat my boss over the head with a pie chart. And they charged me with a graph-aided assault.