I used to put wine in my corn flakes. Then they arrested me on account of I was a cereal grapist.
A mugger attacked me with a sharp tool, but I knocked him out with a stale baguette. This proves that loaf conquers awl.
If you are attacked by an artist wielding an etching tool — run! For you are engrave danger. Seek refuge in your local embossing.
My friend Grant had his skin forcibly removed. What a flay Grant violation.
What do you call a matador who gets trampled? A dor mat.
I took a swing at the fog, but I mist.
So… I beat my boss over the head with a pie chart. And they charged me with a graph-aided assault.
Ritchie Valens song about terrorism: ‘Allah Bomba’.
Don’t discuss units of heat with me. I will BTU!
Anyone placed in a jar against their will has been vialated.