violence puns :: PunGents.com

So… I beat my boss over the head with a pie chart. And they charged me with a graph-aided assault.

(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

Anyone placed in a jar against their will has been vialated.

(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

My friend Grant had his skin forcibly removed. What a flay Grant violation.

(2 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5)

If they killed all the sheep it would be a cull lambity.

(3 votes, average: 3.67 out of 5)

Race me to that glass of vegetable juice, and I will beet you to a pulp.

(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)

When accusing an elderly comedian of assault, there has to be probable Cosby.

(2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

The magician nonchalantly stabbed his assistant, displaying remarkable slayed offhand.

(7 votes, average: 1.43 out of 5)

Last night I fought a tree. I was punch trunk.

(2 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)

I used to put wine in my corn flakes. Then they arrested me on account of I was a cereal grapist.

(2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)

When I stepped on a landmine, I felt defeeted. But there were violent protests in support of me – so I did enjoy some no toe rioty.

(2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)