How do advertisers boost sales of Gravol?
They tell customers to take it at nauseum.
How do advertisers boost sales of Gravol?
They tell customers to take it at nauseum.
How do barbers advertise in the Bible Belt?
“Jesus shaves.”
Why did Laertes place tariffs on foreign bookcases?
Because Polonius advised him, “This above all else: to thine home shelf be true!“
Hear about the dentist and his evil twin?
They were molar opposites!
How do you hunt down a cunning linguist?
With a semioterotomatic rifle!
(*warning* – the following Pun on Demand contains adult situations and innuendo)
Dear Pungents: How about a pun for a Canadian kid living in the States who just doesn’t get any respect? He’s constantly getting teased for his odd Canadian accent and for those floppy-headed characters from South Park, Terrence and Philip. ~ Christopolous Briggadopolous, East Greenbush, New York
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “Won’t shut up? Well how’s this for deTerrence: I’ll Philip your ‘eh’-hole with a canuckle sandwich!”
2) “You know, I spend a lot of time with my Dick Cheney-saw, hacking at the Bush on the way to your sister’s Clintonoris… As a Canadian, I spend a lot of time in her Regina!”
3) “Cut the bull, or al gore you!”
Dear Pungents: It’s my mom’s birthday next week while she’s on holiday in St Lucia, and I need something punny to wish her a sun-sational time! ~ Claire, Belleville, Ontario
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “I would go with you mom, but when it comes to me and St. Lucia – it’s Caribbean there, done that!“
2) “The nightlife is crazy there – It’s sane-lose-ya!”
3) “I hope the weather’s just luciaous!”
Why did the bitter former sound-effects technician lose his hair?
Because he was an ex-foley hater!
I teach five classes of sometimes bright, sometimes not, grade seven and eight students. What’s a pun I can use to subdue the questions I get during grammar lessons? Something like “I’ll take ‘noun’ of your questions at this time,” or “Would you repeat that again ‘verb’-atim?” But something with a stronger wit. ~ Marissa, Toronto
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “You think I’m a witch for teaching this stuff? We haven’t even hit the hag-jectives yet!”
2) “Lucky you’re not in Catholic school – the priests make you study in the pray-position!”
3) “No grammar homework tonight – what a happy pronoun-cement!”
4) “What should a subject never say to a judge? ‘I – Object!‘”