How do advertisers boost sales of Gravol?
They tell customers to take it at nauseum.
(1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading... (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)Loading...Month: January 2005
(1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)Loading...How do barbers advertise in the Bible Belt?
“Jesus shaves.”
(3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Loading...Hear about the dentist and his evil twin?
They were molar opposites!
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Loading...How do you hunt down a cunning linguist?
With a semioterotomatic rifle!
(2 votes, average: 2.50 out of 5)Loading...PLUCKY CANUCK
(*warning* – the following Pun on Demand contains adult situations and innuendo)
Dear Pungents: How about a pun for a Canadian kid living in the States who just doesn’t get any respect? He’s constantly getting teased for his odd Canadian accent and for those floppy-headed characters from South Park, Terrence and Philip. ~ Christopolous Briggadopolous, East Greenbush, New York
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “Won’t shut up? Well how’s this for deTerrence: I’ll Philip your ‘eh’-hole with a canuckle sandwich!”
2) “You know, I spend a lot of time with my Dick Cheney-saw, hacking at the Bush on the way to your sister’s Clintonoris… As a Canadian, I spend a lot of time in her Regina!”
3) “Cut the bull, or al gore you!”
(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)Loading...TAN GENTS?
Dear Pungents: It’s my mom’s birthday next week while she’s on holiday in St Lucia, and I need something punny to wish her a sun-sational time! ~ Claire, Belleville, Ontario
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “I would go with you mom, but when it comes to me and St. Lucia – it’s Caribbean there, done that!“
2) “The nightlife is crazy there – It’s sane-lose-ya!”
3) “I hope the weather’s just luciaous!”
(Rate This Pun)Loading...CONAN THE GRAMMARIAN
I teach five classes of sometimes bright, sometimes not, grade seven and eight students. What’s a pun I can use to subdue the questions I get during grammar lessons? Something like “I’ll take ‘noun’ of your questions at this time,” or “Would you repeat that again ‘verb’-atim?” But something with a stronger wit. ~ Marissa, Toronto
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “You think I’m a witch for teaching this stuff? We haven’t even hit the hag-jectives yet!”
2) “Lucky you’re not in Catholic school – the priests make you study in the pray-position!”
3) “No grammar homework tonight – what a happy pronoun-cement!”
4) “What should a subject never say to a judge? ‘I – Object!‘”
(2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Loading...If Monet avoided both situps and jogging, would that make him an abs/track repressionist?
(Rate This Pun)Loading...SURVIVAL OF THE WITTEST
I need a pun revolving around a legal education coupled to a genetics education. I leave the rest up to you. ~ Top Dog, Toronto
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “If Darwin had to sign a waiver before shipping off on his genetics voyage, would you said it was because he was on allelegal Beagle?”
2) “Do students in the Galapagos study tortoise law?”
(Rate This Pun)Loading...PAWS FOR THOUGHT
My boyfriend and I just bought two kittens who sometimes tear around our house at night and are a little noisy. Our parents are visiting this weekend, and I need a response to any kitten complaints that might come our way…. ~ Rebecca, Kingston, Ontario
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “They’re noisy because they’re feline good!”
2) “I could feed them cat-a-tonic, but it knocks them out!”
3) “Cat you ignore the noise?”
4) “Relax – they’re just kitten around!”
(Rate This Pun)Loading...