Andrew from Dugald:
Why do Jewish mothers drive their sons crazy? They never yield the right oy vey.
The Scots keep Nessie’s whereabouts close to their chests, but really, if you look under the water beneath the docks, you might find her. That’s right, the secret is kept under Loch and Quay.
Andrew says, “Acccccchhh! Happy Hogmanay!”
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...Let me tell you about the reek I’ve had: First off, I work at the ol’ factory. But a few days ago I ran into some cash problems, so I asked my boss for a smell favour. What was I stinking! Now I have to avoid her, cuz she nose I odour money. Hmm, maybe if I stop wearing deodorant to work, they’ll give me a high-ranking job?
(Rate This Pun)Loading...The fourth Wise Man gave the baby Jesus a photo of Alfred E Neuman. It was known as the Gift of the Mad Guy.
(4 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)Loading...Greg from Toronto:
Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out in logs.
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Dear Pungents, a catchy name for a garden maintenance business, please. Thanks! ~Samuel, Plymouth, Cornwall, UK
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) Hoes and John [Deeres]
2) Hoesanna
3) Thumberjacks
4) Plant Parenthood
5) Lawnscapings
6) GardenGuard
7) Hedge Fun Management
8) You Bet Your Grass!
9) Cheshire-Cat Green [grin]
10) Total Soddisfaction [for lawn maintenance]
11) The Green Lawntern
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Dear Pungents, could I please have a pun about a rugby playing lawyer? I like chocolate cheesecake. I’d also like to be a Punshine Boy. ~James, Toronto
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “A defense attorney who plays rugby has to deal with the scrum of the earth.”
2) “After the game, my two colleagues and I pig out with a triple-lawyer cheesecake.”
3) “If Michael Jackson played rugby, would he get flagged by the touch judge?”
4) “The rugby-playing lawyer lived a double life: by day prosecuting johns in the courthouse, but at night practising as a hooker.”
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Dear Pungents, I see Mark has beaten me to the request [see 10/26 POD]. I too was going to ask about a t-shirt slogan; this time it’s for the electrical engineer’s shirt. Last year’s was ‘CMOS run’. Funny ideas might include ideas:
-any of Maxwell’s equations, electricity/magnetism laws: Ampere’s Law, Faraday’s Law, Gauss’ Law, Coulomb’s Law
-the signal processing sinc function; the Fourier series
-circuit devices: MOSFETs, diodes, capacitors/inductors/resistors, maybe Thevenin/Norton techniques, phasor analysis
Thanks a lot! ~Greg, Toronto
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “Who else loves diodes, capacitors and inductors? Check us out: we’re circuits freaks!”
2) “What are the favourite cookies of electrical engineers? Mr. Thevenin and Mr. Norton.”
3) “Don’t resist us – you’ll get ohmed!”
4) “We don’t shave; women like it Fourier.” [have to mispronounce it]
5) “Electrical engineers are horny… you’re giving me Max Swell!”
6) “We get it right the first time; everything else is re-volting.”
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Dear Pungents, a pun please about advertisements concerning the company Pepsi. ~Kristin, Vancouver, BC
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “Forget rotting teeth, these ads are rotting my brain. Somebody better col-a fizzician!”
2) “When I watch their commercials, it’s pap see!”
3) “Another darn Pepsi ad? I feel like I’m being soda-mized!”
(Rate This Pun)Loading...During the government enumeration process, there was an old woman who kept handing out pie. She said, “It’s a treat for the census!”
(3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Loading...Ron from Toronto:
A prince locked his princess in the tower because every time he made a
street rhyme that included a clever play on words she would would put it
on ebay for the highest bidder. He called her Rap-Pun-Sell.
(1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)Loading...