I was skinny in high school, so when I got to university I joined a fatternity: eta omega pi
academia
My Ph.D thesis was on cattle raised in the Roman city of Pompeii. To understand it all I had to visit theĀ ancient mooins.
Any academic who leaves the country is a subject matter export.
Does the Journal of Incontinence Research utilize pee-er review?
I went to university, but all my professors were crazy. I mean, absolutely nuts! They should have called it Macadamia.
NED: Will you help me pass my French exam?
ED: Sure, no problem at all.
NED: Oh thank you. I am full of grad etude!
When the President of Harvard elected to fumigate the entire university, people accused him of having loused his faculties.
If you write an exam in a freezing cold room then you might end up as a testicle.
NED: Hear about the Greek mafia?
ED: Yeah – they always threaten to put a kappa in my ass!
NED: Didn’t they murder a bunch of Newfoundlanders?
ED: No – that was the psychotic Greek fraternity, Kappa Nu Phi.
NED: What about that strange fraternity located along the Nile river, it was called Chi Rho Delta, that now wants to open a bake shop.
ED: You mean Nu Pi Delta. Once I Eta Pithere – it was too expensive and now I Omega. But it was a big dessert. I Eta Omega Pi!
NED: Well I’m getting a little tired of Nu Pi Delta, as is their sister sorority.
ED: Xi Xi Xi?
NED: That’s right. And what about the fraternity for Esperanto lovers – Nu Alpha Beta.
ED: Or that sorority for fashionable fat ladies: Nu Mu Mu. My poodle got eaten there!
NED: I thought that was Eta Phi-Phi.
ED: And to get revenge on those ladies I borrowed a semiautomatic weapon. But I lost it and now it has to be replaced.
NED: Iota Nu Xi can help you with that.
ED: What about penis enlargement?
NED: Try Psi Xi Omega.
ED: Did you know dragon boat lovers are meeting at Rho Rho Rho?
NED: That’s nothing. The pranksters at Tau Rho Mu stack cows one atop the other!
ED: Funny, I had a beef patty the other day.
NED: At Eta Mu Pi?
ED: Yes. Say – did you hear about that kinky lesbian sorority. Legend has it Michael Douglas’ wife and Delta Burke had a fling there.
NED: You mean Delta Eta Zeta?
ED: Yes.
Hear about the female student of interpretation theory, who rejected her boyfriend because he had fleas?
Yes, her man knew tics.


