Modern Sikhs live in cities. It’s the turban jungle.
To make candlesticks from TNT, try nightly tallowing.
Crystal from Halifax:
On what day of the week did Dorothy return home from Oz?
Ruby shoesday.
Do Scotsmen dance the lamb baa da?

KISS MY GAS
Dear Pungents, our school is doing a “Santa goes green’ concert, and the penguins are protesting the use of nonrenewable forms of energy. Got any slogans that the penguins might put on their protest signs? Thanks! ~Jill, Clearwater, FLA
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT [a bit late for Xmas, sorry Jill!]
- Fuelish Behaviour
- Give Gas a Pass
- Flip Oil the Bird
- Oil is UnSanta-tary
WHEN HARRY MET SALMAN
Dear Pungents, how about puns twisting famous authors’ names into idioms? What got me started was seeing a shirt that said “My way or the Hemingway.” What else can we do with author’s names and idioms/aphorisms/cliches? Maybe if Shakespeare met Descartes… “I think therefore iamb?” ~Mike, Warren, OH
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
- Blame It on the Twain
- The Wrath of Seuss
- If the shoe Fitzgerald, let him wear it.
- Austen Yonkers
DON’T BE A POTTY POOPER
Dear Pungents, I need a pun about an ultrasound that shows that my baby won’t be one of those pooping babies. ~Noetica, Oakland, CA
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
- This ultrasound is really grainy: you can’t see shit.
- You won’t know if you’re baby is a pooper until the turd trimester.
- If you’re too meticulous during your pregnancy, you’ll get a poopy baby. So don’t keep a baby log, or write a diarrhea.
Andrew from Dugald:
Since the American financial sector has basically gone in the crapper due to bad loans, are lenders of last resort guilty of giving credit, where credit is……doo-doo?
Stop maiming each other; we’re running out of Gauze-a!
How do astronomers make discoveries? By cosmosis.


