Dear Pungents, our school is doing a “Santa goes green’ concert, and the penguins are protesting the use of nonrenewable forms of energy. Got any slogans that the penguins might put on their protest signs? Thanks! ~Jill, Clearwater, FLA

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT [a bit late for Xmas, sorry Jill!]

1. Fuelish Behaviour
2. Give Gas a Pass
3. Flip Oil the Bird
4. Oil is UnSanta-tary

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Dear Pungents, how about puns twisting famous authors’ names into idioms? What got me started was seeing a shirt that said “My way or the Hemingway.” What else can we do with author’s names and idioms/aphorisms/cliches? Maybe if Shakespeare met Descartes… “I think therefore iamb?” ~Mike, Warren, OH

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Blame It on the Twain
2. The Wrath of Seuss
3. If the shoe Fitzgerald, let him wear it.
4. Austen Yonkers

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Dear Pungents, I need a pun about an ultrasound that shows that my baby won’t be one of those pooping babies. ~Noetica, Oakland, CA

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. This ultrasound is really grainy: you can’t see shit.
2. You won’t know if you’re baby is a pooper until the turd trimester.
3. If you’re too meticulous during your pregnancy, you’ll get a poopy baby. So don’t keep a baby log, or write a diarrhea.

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