relationships

UNDERSTAND YOUR FAN

Dear Pun Gents, I need a title for a weekly column which would be like a ‘sports cheat sheet’ feature for female readers who have husbands, boyfriends and significant others who are sports fanatics–all with the aim to help women join in the conversation in a fun, quirky way. It would be written from an entertainment/gossip angle so that it appeals to women. It would also help explain sports terms in funny, clever ways. Can you please help? Thank you! ~Kelli, New York City

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
  1. The Fandominatrix
  2. Girls With Balls
  3. S&M: Sports and Men
  4. MSM: Men, Sports, Meaning
  5. The MenZone
  6. The Jersey Girl [ ie sports jerseys]
  7. Understand Your Fan
  8. [PS – thanks for the donation!]
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RECEIVING LINES

Dear Pun Gents, I want a nice pun to put in my cousin’s guest book at her wedding. ~Ellen, Ballycastle, N. Ireland

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. This evening: open bar. Tonight: open bra!
  2. I guess it was the law of cousin affect.
  3. You really vowed the crowd.
  4. Set the lovin to high.
TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (3 votes, average: 3.33 out of 5)
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MATCHISMO

Dear Pun Gents, I just started my own matchmaking business and have been offered a five-minute slot on a South African radio station. The slot is called Pun Review. I need to tell people about dating, matchmaking, the first date, etc, and I need to use as many clever puns as I can. Please help!! ~Bonita, Johannesburg

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Our service is a model of a fish-in-the-sea.
  2. Looking to get lady?
  3. You pick up chicks or we pick up the cheque.
  4. Did somebody sneeze? Match-You!
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THIS JUST IN…

Dear Pun Gents, I am writing a blog about the crazy things my husband Justin says and does and I am looking for a punny title.  Any ideas? ~Tobie, Winnipeg, MB

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. This Just In…
  2. Un Just Pun-ishment
  3. The Status Quote
  4. Hear Say
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YOU + ME = VD

Dear Pun Gents, something about Valentine’s day like “bee mine” with a bee or “sweet on you” with candy or “nuts about you” with a peanut that i could put on a card. ~Samantha, New Britain, CT

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. It was two heart to get you a present.
  2. For our V-day dinner, set the lovin’ to ‘high’
  3. And you thought I never card about you.
  4. I baked you something special. Cuz all you knead is loaf.
  5. Let’s have a hearty dinner
  6. You and Me = A VD I got from Dupree
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MY MOTHER AND FEATHER

Dear Pun Gents, I have a picture of my mom wearing a turkey hat. I would like a pun that describes her life, but has to do with turkeys. ~Harrison, North Brunswick

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. She wattles when she walks.
  2. She’s got the right stuffing!
  3. She always listened to Charlie ‘Bird’ Parker
  4. She was blessed by Gobble Almighty!
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