They should shut down particle accelerators. I see no CERNible benefits.
Why did Einstein never stop at a single beer?
Because he was obsessed with re-ale-itivity!
The speck of dust took another speck of dust to court, for reasons of tardiness. It was a particle-u-late matter.
NED: I’ve got a shameful scientific confession.
ED: What’s that?
NED: Well, I’ve been dabbling in…
ED: What is it?
NED: Well, it’s reverse-life-cycle cloning…
NED: Yes. Reverse-life-cycle cloning. I can’t bear the guilt any more…
ED: For god’s sake, man – get an old of yourself!
I was always fascinated by the metric system, thanks to my gram awe’s influence. At school I wasn’t like the rest of the kgs: I certainly wasn’t the litre, and the bullies just wouldn’t lb me alone. At home my dear nano couldn’t console me, nor could my friend Milli who centi me a deca cards to cheer me up. Eventually I cheered up, however, and the abuse didn’t last furlong.
Jesus barely passed his high school chemistry exams. They made a movie of it: The Last Titration of Christ. He was tested by the devil.
Why is it thermodynamically impossible to clean a chicken coop?
Because hentropy increases.
Jesus often sucked on balloons. It was because they contained healium.
Ophthalmology puns make me glassy eyed. I don’t like vitreous humor.
For unemployed physicists, the Large Hadron Collider is a make-quark project.