The star proctologist was treated like a god. His patients were so in awe. They all lay prostate before him.
NED: I can communicate with fish in distant oceans!
ED: Why, you must be tilapiapathic!
NED: Yup – I just flex my mental mussels and tuna out distractions!
The authorities lifted the restrictions on chariots, and gave the people cart blanche to drive whatever they wanted. Everyone quickly jumped on the banned wagons.
I invited the Dalai Lama over for dinner, but he said Buddha that, which is just as well, as I’m willing Tibet you anything that he would have run a monk.
NED: What’s a river rodent’s favourite TV show?
ED: Leave it to Beaver?
NED: No, Welcome Back Otter!
There’s nothing quite like a South Pacific vacation: seven days in Jakarta makes me week Indonesia.
When a dog is choking, other dogs will frantically sniff its butt in an attempt to save it. This is known as the hind-lick manoeuver.
Those who make cross-stitching puns are knit-wits. No more barbs or needling!
Dear Pungents, I need a bowling team name for charity bowling tournament. Fairly clean is the requirement. The company sells hunting and fishing licenses if you can work that in. ~Helen, Nashville, TN
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “Hooker’s Lane.”
2) “Spare Fishers.”
3) “Shotgun alley.”
Andrew from Dugald:
Did you hear that the esteemed auto-maker Toyota has a problem with cats getting caught in a certain model’s fan-belts? It would seem their funky little econo-box is a Scion of fur-chew!