The Irishman was visited by a ghost while making moonshine. “I can’t sleep at night,” the man said, “it haunts me still.”
NED: Can I borrow your zombie?
ED: Of course.
NED: Thanks. I’m forever in your dead!
Ancient manuscripts confirm a disturbing conclusion: that ghosts will one day haunt your underpants. It was written about in The Dead See Scrotals.
If Nostradamus was a superhero, would he have had a psychic?
Fencing is a parry normal activity.
People who believe in ghosts are very ghoulable.
The French film fest is haunted! I saw it in Star Trek II: the Wraith of Cannes
NED: I can communicate with fish in distant oceans!
ED: Why, you must be tilapiapathic!
NED: Yup – I just flex my mental mussels and tuna out distractions!
What should you give a ghost for Christmas?
Hear about the dyslexic clairvoyant nurse who didn’t bother to charge for her services, because she could fee into the suture?