Little known fact: Hallowe’en started in Holland, as a day when shoes were used to plug the dykes. That’s why we now celebrate theĀ soles of the dammed.
halloween
Are you ready for Hallowe’en? No guts, no gory.
My friend Ian has a hollow leg. Happy Hollow Ian!
I made a Hallowe’en pun in January. Guess I spook too soon.
Hallowe’en is a boogus holiday.
GOBLIN IT UP
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
- It all ghost to charity.
- Our ghoul is to feed the hungry.
- Help us make sand witches.
- We have a lot of hungry costumers.
If Apple changed its name to Pumpkin, would their computer be a Hackinsquash?
Halloween Puns
The ghost was lonely because he didn’t have aĀ ghoulfriend.
Who do they call when a demon needs a personal trainer?Ā The exercist!
Hall o’ wiener: when I decorated my foyer with sausage.
Pumpkin juice + Chardonnay =Ā Hallow’ine?
Impossible to track down: theĀ Wherewolf.
The vampire was known for his awful puns. They called himĀ Count Dreckula.
The giant sea-lizard was a bit of a practical joker. They called himĀ Goadzilla.
If basketball superstar O’Neal dressed up as a pumpkin for Hallowe’en, would he call himselfĀ Shaq O’Lantern?
Some prefer getting candy on Hallowe’en, but two days later I like to go out and collect shoes. I call itĀ All Soles Day.
We all know about the rash of unexplained deaths in the village of Sleepy Hollow . But, as an unfortunate sidebar, to deal with all the corpses was a most incompetent funeral director, nicknamedĀ the Heedless Hearseman.
Hansel and Gretel must have misread the invitation ā they thought they’d been asked to join theĀ witchesĀ coven!
Do posh demons go cruising in aĀ coupe devil?
The wandering minstrel was excited about trick-or-treating. He said, āI hear there’s gonna be lute!ā
My house is haunted by the ghosts of a thousand chickens. It’s just like that movie,Ā Poultrygeist.
The Irishman was visited by a ghost while making moonshine. “I can’t sleep at night,” the man said, “it haunts me still. ” (Irish accent needed)
Was the TV newsman haunted by his exact double?Ā Yes, it was a Koppelganger.
SkeletonnesĀ are heavier than they look.
A skeleton’s favourite Billy Idol song?Ā āBony Bony⦒.
Mary Shelley wrote about her good friend Benjamin Franklin’s obsession with German beer. She called it āFrank and stein‘.
Where do zombies ‘get down’?Ā In the raveyard. (A good place to getĀ tombstoned?)
You hear about the play they staged in a cemetery?Ā It got grave reviews.
Never ask a warlock where he works: it tends to be aĀ āsorce’Ā spot.
In Canada the werewolves are obsessed with āhockey hairdos’. In fact they can only be killed with aĀ silver mullet.
When demons go to university, they get to take a lot ofĀ hellectives.

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