GOBLIN IT UP

Dear Pun Gents, our church will be canvassing our neighborhood on Halloween night to collect canned foods for a canned food drive. We do this every year and collect hundreds of cans of food this way. I write a newsletter and need a title for the article I am writing to publicize this event. ~Tuan, Honolulu, HI

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. It all ghost to charity.
  2. Our ghoul is to feed the hungry.
  3. Help us make sand witches.
  4. We have a lot of hungry costumers.
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Halloween Puns

The ghost was lonely because he didn’t have aĀ ghoulfriend.

Who do they call when a demon needs a personal trainer?Ā The exercist!

Hall o’ wiener: when I decorated my foyer with sausage.

Pumpkin juice + Chardonnay =Ā Hallow’ine?

Impossible to track down: theĀ Wherewolf.

The vampire was known for his awful puns. They called himĀ Count Dreckula.

The giant sea-lizard was a bit of a practical joker. They called himĀ Goadzilla.

If basketball superstar O’Neal dressed up as a pumpkin for Hallowe’en, would he call himselfĀ Shaq O’Lantern?

Some prefer getting candy on Hallowe’en, but two days later I like to go out and collect shoes. I call itĀ All Soles Day.

We all know about the rash of unexplained deaths in the village of Sleepy Hollow . But, as an unfortunate sidebar, to deal with all the corpses was a most incompetent funeral director, nicknamedĀ the Heedless Hearseman.

Hansel and Gretel must have misread the invitation – they thought they’d been asked to join theĀ witchesĀ coven!

Do posh demons go cruising in aĀ coupe devil?

The wandering minstrel was excited about trick-or-treating. He said, ā€œI hear there’s gonna be lute!ā€

My house is haunted by the ghosts of a thousand chickens. It’s just like that movie,Ā Poultrygeist.

The Irishman was visited by a ghost while making moonshine. “I can’t sleep at night,” the man said, “it haunts me still. ” (Irish accent needed)

Was the TV newsman haunted by his exact double?Ā Yes, it was a Koppelganger.

SkeletonnesĀ are heavier than they look.

A skeleton’s favourite Billy Idol song?Ā ā€˜Bony Bony…’.

Mary Shelley wrote about her good friend Benjamin Franklin’s obsession with German beer. She called it ā€˜Frank and stein‘.

Where do zombies ‘get down’?Ā In the raveyard. (A good place to getĀ tombstoned?)

You hear about the play they staged in a cemetery?Ā It got grave reviews.

Never ask a warlock where he works: it tends to be aĀ ā€˜sorce’Ā spot.

In Canada the werewolves are obsessed with ā€˜hockey hairdos’. In fact they can only be killed with aĀ silver mullet.

When demons go to university, they get to take a lot ofĀ hellectives.

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