I was going to make a pun about getting opera tickets in the mail, but that would be really Puccini the envelope.
In Saudi Arabia, it is punishable by death to eat the mail. You’ll be declared a post ate.
Postal workers tend to be men, especially the ones walking around with male sacks.
When I accidentally Fed-exed myself, I was very much a freight of the consequences.
Anyone who licks an envelope is into mail bondage.