The municipal government decided to withdraw funds from their lawnbowling leagues, and hold a massive city-wide orgy instead. Needless to say, the associations of elderly lawnbowlers protested this senseless act of de-bocce-ry.

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How do you tell if a soccer player is dead?

He doesn’t respond to the coroner kick.

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The surfer enjoyed a white cap every night before bed. But when it was too dark to surf and he got injured, he couldn’t sue anyone. He had already waved his rights.

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