current events - Pun Gents :: Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Business Slogans :: Team Names :: Punshine Girls and Boys!

08/10/2022

Lance Armstrong felt better after appearing on Oprah. She gave him performance-enhancing hugs. Nonetheless, Lance committed male fraud: He was master of the pellets-on. Somehow he never failed his testes—he didn’t stop until he had one. Now, stripped of his Tour titles, the most shocking revelation is that Lance has a No Jersey accent. Anyway I guess it’s back to eating Sheryl Crow. [The Gents thank Ashley, Bryan and Jordan for collaborating on today’s puns!]

(10 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)

07/03/2022

Monetary policy madness: Fed Chair Ben Bernanke, aka the ‘Bernanker-Chief’, is blowing his wad!

(2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)

05/28/2022

If I was trapped 69 days in a hole, I wouldn’t mine. It’s a bit too Chile on the surface.

(3 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)

05/27/2022

With Danielle, then Earl, and then Fiona, we see that storms are named according to letters of the alphabet, with alternating genders. They should call them his and hurricanes.

(4 votes, average: 2.50 out of 5)

04/23/2022

Usually when you hear about Norway it’s Oslo news day.

(6 votes, average: 4.17 out of 5)

01/09/2022

Which bacterial illness is often caught by celebrities?

A-listeriosis.

(Rate This Pun)

12/03/2021

When Monica Lewinsky interned for Santa, she spent a lot of time servicing the North Pole. However, the wind blew and the weather sucked; she tried to quit, but Santa kept her around to polish his candy canes. Feeling exploited, she launched a Clause-suction lawsuit.

(5 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)

07/24/2021

They depicted Mohammad’s donkey in a Danish newspaper cartoon. It was an insult to his llama.

(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

07/10/2021

Aid workers want to enter Burma. But they must wait til they’ve been de-Laosed.

(1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)

12/27/2020

Rural America is being asked to bale out Wall Street. Most Americans don’t understand the crisis, so it had to be explained to them in Lehman’s terms. The bulls have lost; how quickly the Bears Sterns! The bank CEOs have been advised to keep off the streets, lest they be Merrilly Lynched.

(Rate This Pun)