I made a rousing speech about pickled fruits that start with ‘Q’. Far and wide I became known for my grand dill o’ quince.
food and drink
NED: Eating yogurt gives me pornographic hallucinations.
ED: Really?
NED: Yeah. I think it’s the acidophallus.
Your favourite All Bran commercials can be brownloaded from the Internet.
Frozen french fries will give you cool-tuber-osis
The weird new fad in restaurants is serving roadkilled bird. I went to such a place last night. Man it was crow dead.
Buy a winnebagel. You have muffin to lose. People might think you’re cookie, but donut listen.
When the cops showed up at the Chinese restaurant after receiving a burglary call, they were shocked at the wonton destruction.
I’d love to be abandoned on a dessert island.
NED: I dropped my jar of strawberry jam. It landed on the floor!
ED: Oh no.
NED: Now it’s busted. I wasn’t ex-pectin that.
McDonald’s has recently put blowfish on the menu, aka the Fellate-O-Fish.

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