As a stumbling drunk threw up all over my garden one night I looked up at the sky and whispered, ‘This is truly heavin’ on earth.”
Gardeners use touch-green technology.
I am comforted by porcelain gnomes. In a way they’re like my garden angels.
My old gardener was so mean to me, so I told him to go back to school. Now he’s a kinder gartener.
I went to a horticultural conference and they said ‘Please be seeded.’
Weeding is a high-growth industry, but it started as a grasp roots movement. It took a hunch and a good amount of pluck, but now it has people all over the earth on their knees – and they really dig it.
My garden came up crooked. It’s true what they say about the best laid plants…
If you leave your thickets unattended I’ll have to cull the copse on you.
Anyone who plants a tree is in for a root awakening.
I hate watering the lawn. It really irrigates me.