The Founding Fathers approved of suburban spawl. When I gaze upon the endless tracts of houses in cookie-cutter subdivisions, I am reminded of their words, that “all manor created equal.“
housing
I can install a tree in your cellar. Bark in basement prices!
Hear about the new gardening equipment manufactured by Black and Decker?
It’s cutting hedge!
The carpenter’s house was his pride and joist. He said that building it was a sawdust-flying endeavour. Have you ever beam to saw it? Truss me, it’s worth it. It’s in Bevelry Hills, in a dark wood.
I don’t usually water my grass in the morning, but I guess I’m lawn over dew.
CARPET DIEM
Dear Pun Gents, puns about rugs. ~McKayla, Fayetteville, TN
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
- Whenever I get home I am immediately on rugs.
- Don’t ruin a rug. That’s carpetal punishment.
LET IT BE
Dear Pun Gents, I am setting up a residential lettings agency and would like a memorable business name. Help! ~Mitzy, London, UK
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
- EasyLease
- Prop Hotty
- Rent & Simply [Ren & Stimpy]
- Live and Let
- The Live and Let Guys
- Doctor House
- Maison D’Etre
- Anacondo
SUN THING SPECIAL
Dear Pun Gents, we need a beach house name in Kure (pronounced ‘curry’) Beach, North Carolina. Owners in medical field, house aqua-colored. Looking for something clever but not pretentious or dirty. Â “A Shore Cure” or Seas the Day? Can’t we do better? ~Carrie, Raleigh, NC
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
- Don’t Kure, Beach Happy
- Carolina on the Beach
- Sun Thing Special
- Kure Patience
- Aquazy House
- Sand from Heaven
- Smile and Wave
- Kure-B Your Enthusiasm
- Perfect Tans
- Tidyllic
- Tidal Pleasures