THANK YOUR LOUSY STARS

Dear Pun Gents,  I am writing an article for our church newsletter about being thankful in spite of adversity and need a title for the article. ~Tuan, Honolulu (long-time fan)

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Get Stoic-ed
  2. It’s Chic to Turn Cheek
  3. Thank Your Lousy Stars
  4. Pray Of Light
  5. Sufferman
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SAVIOUR THE DATE!

Dear Pun Gents, I’m making a movie poster for an art history class on early Netherlandish paintings and I’m trying to crack a joke about the ‘mystic marriage’ of St. Catherine to the baby Jesus. HELP! What would make a funny title? ~Leslie, Baton Rouge, LA

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. My How He’s Groom!
  2. J.C. and the Pious Cats
  3. Saviour the Date!
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SUN THING SPECIAL

Dear Pun Gents, we need a beach house name in Kure (pronounced ‘curry’) Beach, North Carolina. Owners in medical field, house aqua-colored. Looking for something clever but not pretentious or dirty.  “A Shore Cure” or Seas the Day? Can’t we do better? ~Carrie, Raleigh, NC

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Don’t Kure, Beach Happy
  2. Carolina on the Beach
  3. Sun Thing Special
  4. Kure Patience
  5. Aquazy House
  6. Sand from Heaven
  7. Smile and Wave
  8. Kure-B Your Enthusiasm
  9. Perfect Tans
  10. Tidyllic
  11. Tidal Pleasures
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CHARADENFREUDE

Dear Pun Gents, our company is having a Pictionary contest, and we’d like a punny name to cover four ladies who can’t draw! ~Shari, Romeoville,IL

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Charade-Donnay
  2. Pic Lasso
  3. Scribblers on the Roof
  4. Charaded Wit
  5. Slim Pictions
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GEWURTZ + MUSIC BY…

Dear Pun Gents, we need a team name for a music-themed wine tasting and quiz. Team names are to include rock/music star/act and possibly be related to wine. We are three girls and one guy – please help! ~Catherine, Aberdeen, Scotland

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
  1. Death Cabernet for Cutie
  2. House of the Riesling Sun
  3. All Time Best Cellars
  4. Chordannay
  5. April Wine
  6. Port-ishead
  7. Brandy
  8. Glassic Rock
  9. We are the Champagnes
  10. We’re Hardcork
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MCRONI

Dear Pun Gents, see what you can do with Manchester; namely the M’C’R. I’ve already exhausted the emcee’s are puns …anyways hope to hear from you soon. ~Ed, Glucoseville

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. I M C R ious!
  2. An odd fellow grew breasts and then fused them together. He played for Man-Chesty United.
  3. I am blind when it comes to women. I’m a man seer.
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WE’VE ACHIEVED CRITICAL MASS

Dear Pun Gents, I need a headline for an article I’m writing for our church newsletter—about new members who will be inducted into the church upon completion of membership classes. ~Tuan, Honolulu, HI

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. We’ll be enjoying some wine and Jesus.
  2. We hope you find Yahweh around.
  3. Want some pastor and meets us?
  4. Flock up your daughters!
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HOPIN FOR BUSINESS

Dear Pun Gents, for a theology project at school I have to make a bumper sticker explaining the theological virtues — faith, hope, and love. Please help me! It’s the end of the quarter and I NEED a good grade! Thank you sooooooooo much!!!!!! ~Emma, Missoula, MT

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Without Faith, Hope and Love we all get a FHLing grade.
  2. Catch me on FaithBook (read the Bible)
  3. Hopin for Business
  4. Set the Lovin to High.
  5. Faith Hope and Love are the illogical virtues.
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GOBLIN IT UP

Dear Pun Gents, our church will be canvassing our neighborhood on Halloween night to collect canned foods for a canned food drive. We do this every year and collect hundreds of cans of food this way. I write a newsletter and need a title for the article I am writing to publicize this event. ~Tuan, Honolulu, HI

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. It all ghost to charity.
  2. Our ghoul is to feed the hungry.
  3. Help us make sand witches.
  4. We have a lot of hungry costumers.
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