Michael Jackson thought he was Jesus. One day he even gave the Sermon on the Mount. And it was known as the Beat-it-udes.
celebrities
What’s Mike Tyson’s favourite video game console?
Lance Armstrong felt better after appearing on Oprah. She gave him performance-enhancing hugs. Nonetheless, Lance committed male fraud: He was master of the pellets-on. Somehow he never failed his testes—he didn’t stop until he had one. Now, stripped of his Tour titles, the most shocking revelation is that Lance has a No Jersey accent. Anyway I guess it’s back to eating Sheryl Crow. [The Gents thank Ashley, Bryan and Jordan for collaborating on today’s puns!]
Which rock star enjoys his morning ritual with a newspaper? Lou Reed.
During his ‘bestiality years’ Elvis recorded several hits: Not just ‘Hound Dog’, of course, but also ‘Love Me Ten Deers’, ‘Viva Las Wolverines’, and ‘In the Gecko.’
Was Ms. Ciccone snooty even before she became famous?
Yes – b/c she was a pre-Madonna.
Do Ms. Minelli’s ex-husbands all get together and play Liza tag?
Did you hear George Michael jumped ship to join a hair-metal band? It’s like Wham! to the Slaughter.
J-lo.


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