I stole some asphalt from a road crew, and now there’s a tar get on my back.
The most impressive bathroom renovation of antiquity had to be the Grout Wall of China.
If Apple invented a building material, would it be called the iGloo?
Steamroller accidents can be quite ugly. Luckily I have always been the grader man.
Aspiring HVAC contractors should make sure they have their ducts in a row.
The carpenter’s house was his pride and joist. He said that building it was a sawdust-flying endeavour. Have you ever beam to saw it? Truss me, it’s worth it. It’s in Bevelry Hills, in a dark wood.
In terms of ending the recession, the lack of buildings under construction is very in a spacious.
The lonely carpenter is sad when he can’t get lathed.
What did the announcer scream when the wooden model of the Hindenburg burst into flames? “Oh, the mahogany!”
When the carpenter was shirking his work, using his tool in a circular arc, the foreman said “Quit plane a round!”
Garry Kasparov’s favourite wood is chestnut.
I was arguing with a construction worker. We were getting bogged down in cementics.
The squad in Florida that cracks down on carpentry infractions? Miami Vise.
Speaking of woodwork, what’s Queen Elizabeth’s favourite screw? Philipshead.
How do they imprison criminals on the large Greek island? They use con Crete.
Those who polish their own wood never catch veneereal disease.
Christopher Plummer’s career has gone down the pipes.
Did you see the Carpenters’ on their wedding night? Yes I saw wood nail box.
Musical act the Loggers sure know how to strike the right timber.
The lumberjacks arguing about beer were at lagerheads.
Do you add sodium chloride during the iron smelting process? No, the Bible says thou salt not steel.