What’s a Scotsman’s favourite Ricky Martin song?
What’s a Scotsman’s favourite Ricky Martin song?
The mobster had a piano dropped on his head. That’s what happens with organized crime.
What the maestro said when the orchestra player sneezed: “Bassoonteit!”
What’s Phil Knight’s favourite music?
Michael Jackson thought he was Jesus. One day he even gave the Sermon on the Mount. And it was known as the Beat-it-udes.
Is Billy Idol satanic?
Yes – Mony is the root of all evil
Which rocker is famous for his sugary ballads? Bon-bon Jovi
Which band is raising a stink? New Odour.
What band do farmers play when their opium crop fails? Skinny Poppy!
Which band was inspired by puffy toy animals? Nerf-fauna.
As fans of Axl and Slash, Pat and Rhain’s favourite rock band is Puns ‘n’ Groanses.
What’s a Scotsman’s favourite U2 song? ‘With or Without Ewe’.
Man cannot live on bread alone? Au contraire! As the Beatles sang, ‘All You Need Is Loaf’.
Which Beatle was communist? John Lenin.
All of Pearl Jam’s decisions are to be approved by Eddie Vetter.
Which songstress got a ligament transplant from rocker Cocker? Joe-knee Mitchell!
Which folksinger was an oil baron? Bob Drillin’.
” was hung up on actress Bancroft? Bob Dial-Anne.
” killed his internet server? Bob Die-LAN.
” loved colourful wool sweaters? Bob Dye-lamb.
Which rocker gave up a career as a chicken trainer? Jimi Hentricks!
Who’s famous for his sugary ballads? Bon-bon Jovi!
REM’s popular hit about facing your inner heart of darkness? ‘Everybody Kurtz’.
Which artist has been prostrate since childhood? Kneel Young.
Can the singer of Purple Rain really boogie? Who – Prance?
Which diva’s a target for media muckrakers? Mudonher!
Which Beatle was hounded by puck bunnies during his stellar hockey career? Rink-ho Starr!
Which band is horny? The Sax Pistols!
Which 60s band was implicated in terrorism? The Hamas and the Papas!
Musical genius? Eminem is no smartie.
Which British group jogs in the morning? Dew-ran Dew-ran!
Was Boy George a stickler for punctuation? Yes, he wrote Comma-chameleon!
What U2 album was a joke? The Josh-ua Tree!
Which Beatles album had buzz? Api Road!
Which classical composer was lured into a furnace? Ludwig van Bait-oven!
You’re lucky if the composer of the Hungarian Rhapsody makes your acquaintance – you can add him to your Franz Liszt!
Which composer likes to cut wood? Chopin.
Who’s Salt-N-Pepa’s favourite composer? Franz Shoop-ert.
Which composer’s routine consisted of drinking tea, hacking his lungs out, and then hitting the slopes? Chai-cough-ski!
Which producer gets all worked up? Brian Emo.
Who gets a kick out of math? Joy Division.
Which act had a smallish frontman? Runty MC!
Who launched an ad campaign to fight crabs? Pube-Lice Enemy!
The U2 guitarist was wise to drop of high school – his music career offered a better Edge-ucation.
U2’s Larry Mullin’ Junior can’t decide on having a baby.
Tony Danza’s favourite band? Oh-eh-sis!
Who never shut up on a flight? Janis Jaw-plane!
Who ended up as Zamboni drivers? Rink Floyd.
Who’s marries anyone, as long as they’re eye-candy? Jennifer Elope-pez.
Whose voice causes cattle stampedes? Moo-riot Carey.
Who developed a German beer using mineral water? Brews Spring-Stein.
Have you heard ‘Danger Jelly‘ – the latest from Peril Jam?
Which group shaved their pubic hair? Bush Ex.
Were Paul and Art depressed after reluctantly adding a third member to their act? Yes, they were now nicknamed Sigh, Moan & Gar-Funk-el.
Gwen stopped being shy about exposing her knotty leg muscles to public view – “After all,” she said, “we’re Node Out.”
Who will paint your van? Inkubus!
The British dance group gets nervous about zapping cattle – they’re Prod-itchy.
Which Detroit punkers cut a large swath of musical destruction? The Wide Strips.
Which alterna band still believes in Santa Claus? Saw-Nick Youth.
Which band prefers not to wear clothes? Garb-itch.
At the site of the famous plane wreck the emergency crews discovered a horrid sight: Bloody Holly, Richie’s Valentrails, and a steaming carcass aka the Big Glop.
Flea’s favourite bar food? Chili Poppers.
Who are rock giants? Metall-ica.
Who’s the techno artist famous for sad songs? Mopy.
The Chemo-kill brothers died from radiation therapy.
Which band tolerates meateaters? The Beef-if-ya-choose (B52s)
Is Rush an optimistic group? Yes: drummer Neil is pert, guitarist Alex is Laughson, and the frontman sings quite geddy-lee.
Who spends a lot of time in the bathroom? Loo Read!
Which deceased rapper had a thing for pop divas? Tupac Shakira.
Which deceased rapper once owned a beef ranch? Moo-pack Shakur.
Which deceased rapper couldn’t quite get the buff abs he wanted? ‘Two-pack’ Shakur.
Which deceased rapper designed Shaquille O’Neal’s website? Tupac Shaq-URL.
Which deceased rapper healed the great Iranian leader? Tupac Shah-cure.
Which deceased rapper beat his drug problem? Tupac Shook her.
Which deceased rapper battled Parkinson’s? Tupac Shaker.
Which deceased rapper enjoyed Japanese poetry? Tupac Shaiku-r.
Which deceased rapper was an avant-garde, self-mutilating male prostitute? Tupac Shock-whore.
Which deceased rapper was staunchly opposed to US unilateralism? Group-Act Shakur.
Which deceased rapper would put a pair of Sweet-N-Low’s in every cup of coffee? Two-pack o’ Sugar.
Which deceased rapper enjoyed doodling outlines of sheep? Tupac Chalk-ewer.
Which deceased rapper had a mid-sized economy sedan? Topaz Shakur.
Why does the deceased rapper’s music always make one less nervous about preparing luggage for a trip? Because – there’s always time Tupac!