I never gain weight in winter. Because I wear coat regularly.
My daughter asked to go tobogganing. I said “Not with that sleddy outfit!”
I bought a faulty bamboo toboggan from a panda. The panda ripped me off. Now I feel bamboosled.
Whenever I drive in the snow I feel skiddish.
What’s the medicine for winter headaches? A spring.
I’m afraid of winter. I don’t indoors going outside.
Dear Pun Gents, I’m doing a charity for the Special Olympics; I’m gonna jump in a frozen lake. I need a team name. Something with “goal” in it. ~Tiffany, Belleville, MI
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
- Polar Bare Skins
- Goal Disoriented
- It’s So Goaled!
- Freezes Pieces
Puns about winter are snow joke.
What do you call a gangsta snowman? Froze-T.
What do bad Eskimos get in their stockings for Xmas? A lump of cold.
They top the charts every January – the Black-Ice Peas.
What do a spelling bee and a winter storm have in common? They both have I-spell-its!
NED: Do you take your bike year-round?
ED: No, but in winter I ride my icicle!
You’re not allowed to have ‘big hair’ in winter – you’ll get ‘fro sin.
Who played guitar for Guns ‘N’ Frozes? Slush.
W hat happened to their lead singer’s van in winter? Axel Froze.
And there was one other near miss, where the rhythm guitarist was driving the van in a snowstorm and he couldn’t see the lane markers. They called him Blizzy Stradlin’.
Do top scientists in the North get the Snowbelt Prize?
Those in the Snowbelt live in squallor.
Do Arctic sommeliers worry about the wine-chill factor?
Those who play poker in a snowstorm must carefully shovel their decks.
Do soldiers up North wear flake jackets for protection?
The stressed out snowman was acting flaky. That was, until he had a meltdown. And finally he was indicted for having a slush fund.
Hear about the Roman general who, every time there was an ice storm, he had an epileptic fit? It was ‘Hail… Seizure!’
NED: Is it likely that fist-sized ice pellets will clog our vacuum?
ED: Yeah, right – maybe when hail freezes hoover.
It’s cold out, so I like to go out for some really big sandwiches… It must be the subs-hero temperatures.
You can tell when winter hits hard: look at all the black eyes on the roadway.
Do Eskimos listen to MushMusic?
There’s a chance I’ll get a sapling anywhere from December to March. It’s the win-tree weather.
Hear about the gay polar bear who was depressed living up North, and so he left the Arctic, went all the way to the Antarctic, and actually found a girlfriend there? But he was still not content, since he was now a bi polar bear.
Instead of waiting in lineups outside in the cold, I’d rather be on icy-queue (ICQ).
As the winter snow turned into rain, Frosty began to realize that fame was sleeting.