NED: What’s the proper term for sculpting a midget?
ED: You mean, what’s the gnome-in-clay-ture?
Pun of the Day
I’m tired of greeting people warmly over the holla daze.
My daughter says she wants her eyes, lips, nose and smile to be surgically reconstructed at the cost of thousands of dollars, but I think she’s just going through a face.
The worst healthcare system is in Illinois. They should rename it Sickago.
Q. Would your father rather tend to his marijuana grow-op, or sing children’s songs?
A. Pop hoes the weed soil.
Perfume business is a monopoly, because of who controls the distribution chanels.
By fed oral law, all food must be eaten via the mouth.
I’m being set up with this girl who really loves the metric system. I can’t wait to metre!
Did Tom get custody? No Suri.
Senior citizen expects discount at a supermarket: “Do you have any Grey Coupon?”


