WE’VE ACHIEVED CRITICAL MASS

Dear Pun Gents, I need a headline for an article I’m writing for our church newsletter—about new members who will be inducted into the church upon completion of membership classes. ~Tuan, Honolulu, HI

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. We’ll be enjoying some wine and Jesus.
  2. We hope you find Yahweh around.
  3. Want some pastor and meets us?
  4. Flock up your daughters!
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HOPIN FOR BUSINESS

Dear Pun Gents, for a theology project at school I have to make a bumper sticker explaining the theological virtues — faith, hope, and love. Please help me! It’s the end of the quarter and I NEED a good grade! Thank you sooooooooo much!!!!!! ~Emma, Missoula, MT

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Without Faith, Hope and Love we all get a FHLing grade.
  2. Catch me on FaithBook (read the Bible)
  3. Hopin for Business
  4. Set the Lovin to High.
  5. Faith Hope and Love are the illogical virtues.
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GOBLIN IT UP

Dear Pun Gents, our church will be canvassing our neighborhood on Halloween night to collect canned foods for a canned food drive. We do this every year and collect hundreds of cans of food this way. I write a newsletter and need a title for the article I am writing to publicize this event. ~Tuan, Honolulu, HI

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. It all ghost to charity.
  2. Our ghoul is to feed the hungry.
  3. Help us make sand witches.
  4. We have a lot of hungry costumers.
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4-MINUTE MYELIN

Dear Pun Gents, I’m starting a team for an MS charity walk. I want a clever name, some kind of play on words having to do with multiple sclerosis or myelin. ~Dana, Ronkonkoma, NY

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Let’s clean up MS-y situation.
  2. You can donate by S-MS.
  3. Add me to your MS-N.
  4. I’m feeling nerves.
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MAKING A BAG DIFFERENCE

Dear Pun Gents, I’m organizing a Brown Bag penny rolling party for my branch. It’s a fundraiser and contest supporting the United Way corporate campaign. Need puns. ~Samantha, Toronto

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Penny for your thoughtfulness
  2. Rock and Roll
  3. Penny rolling: A Night at the Copper-a
  4. B/c donating to United Way makes Cents
  5. It’s a Coin Job
  6. Penny Pals
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HIGH SCHOOL NEWSICAL

Dear Pun Gents, I need a pun for the title of our school’s newspaper. Right now it is the ‘Zeitgeist’ but we would like something more catchy. Our school focuses on math, science and technology. Maybe something with ‘infinite’? ~Kelsey, Lawrenceville, GA (long-time fan)

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Forget the Zeitgeist: make way for the Zit Digest
  2. Kids in the LOL
  3. Paper View Channel
  4. Youth Tube
  5. Rag Against the Machine
  6. Social Median, Mean and Mode
  7. Infiniteens
  8. Go Ogle It
  9. Readerected
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WEBBED ENTHUSIASM

Dear Pun Gents, we’d like to recognize staff members who help keep our website up-to-date and accurate and would like a clever name for such an award. ~Julie, Richmond, VA (long-time fan)

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. HTML Baby One More Time
  2. Site for Sore Eyes Award
  3. Kicking RSS and Taking Names
  4. The Blog Monster
  5. CMSter of the Universe
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