Adult diapers for the swimming pool: Deep ends.
bodily functions
Someone lent me a tampon. I said ‘Thanks!’ She said ‘Don’t mense on it.‘
Fart in my hotel room – toot suite!
Wildebeest farts are a gnu’s scents.
Gum makes me sneeze. A chew.
I am a professional flatulence-connoisseur. I enjoy fartisan whines. I am, as the French say, a smmelier.
To pass a law, the Queen must fart. Only then will it have royal ass scent.
What the maestro said when the orchestra player sneezed: “Bassoonteit!”
Which rock star enjoys his morning ritual with a newspaper? Lou Reed.
Drooling is my new religion. It’s the only path to salivation.


