Fart in my hotel room – toot suite!
bodily functions
Wildebeest farts are a gnu’s scents.
Gum makes me sneeze. A chew.
I am a professional flatulence-connoisseur. I enjoy fartisan whines. I am, as the French say, a smmelier.
What the maestro said when the orchestra player sneezed: “Bassoonteit!”
Which rock star enjoys his morning ritual with a newspaper? Lou Reed.
Drooling is my new religion. It’s the only path to salivation.
Choking on fruit? Call the pear-emetics.
Puns about toilet training are really scraping the bottom. Don’t ask wipe, we just poopoo them.
Grandma soiled herself for the umpteenth time. She’s up to her usual shit nan agains.


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