Gum makes me sneeze. A chew.
bodily functions
I am a professional flatulence-connoisseur. I enjoy fartisan whines. I am, as the French say, a smmelier.
What the maestro said when the orchestra player sneezed: “Bassoonteit!”
Which rock star enjoys his morning ritual with a newspaper? Lou Reed.
Drooling is my new religion. It’s the only path to salivation.
Choking on fruit? Call the pear-emetics.
Puns about toilet training are really scraping the bottom. Don’t ask wipe, we just poopoo them.
Grandma soiled herself for the umpteenth time. She’s up to her usual shit nan agains.
Locutus suffered from excess flatulation after feasting on the s’more gas Borg.
A Frenchman would have you believe his farts smell sweeter. I’ve been to Paris and can tell you, this is a beau gas claim.


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