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    • Puns on Demand
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  • About the Gents
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    • Contact the Pun Gents

figures of speech

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01/06/2024

Skydivers chute first, ask questions later. No wonder they’re so well grounded.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (4 votes, average: 3.75 out of 5)
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Categories Pun of the Day Tags adventure, figures of speech, skydiving, sports Leave a comment
12/23/2023

Wigmakers are always putting on hairs.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (3 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5)
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Categories Pun of the Day Tags figures of speech, occupations Leave a comment
10/19/2023

As a stumbling drunk threw up all over my garden one night I looked up at the sky and whispered, ‘This is truly heavin’ on earth.”

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (3 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5)
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Categories Pun of the Day Tags accidents, bodily functions, figures of speech, gardening, vomit 1 Comment
09/29/2023

Whenever I leave the country people say I emigrate guy.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (10 votes, average: 4.90 out of 5)
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Categories Pun of the Day Tags All-Time Best Puns, catchphrases, figures of speech, immigration, random, travel Leave a comment
05/17/2023

Hear about the cannibal at the farm who wanted to eat his boss, but really had to pee?

In the end he chews the farmer over the bladder.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (3 votes, average: 2.67 out of 5)
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Categories Pun of the Day Tags bodily functions, cannibalism, farming, figures of speech Leave a comment
03/29/2023

Why did Moses think it was a mistake for his brother to worship beneath the leg of the Golden Calf?

Because he was Aaron on the side of cow-shin.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
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Categories Pun of the Day Tags bible, convoluted, figures of speech Leave a comment
12/30/2022

When it comes to Facebook, the best defriends is a good offense.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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Categories Pun of the Day Tags catchphrases, facebook, figures of speech, social media, tech 1 Comment
10/23/2022

Is it true Dutch people get aroused when visiting Scotland?

Yes, they’re like clogs in heath!

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (4 votes, average: 4.25 out of 5)
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Categories Pun of the Day Tags figures of speech, geography, scottish jokes Leave a comment
10/12/2022

How does a short-order cook wish you good luck?

“Break an egg!”

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)
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Categories Pun of the Day Tags figures of speech, occupations 1 Comment
05/13/2022

Did you hear George Michael jumped ship to join a hair-metal band? It’s like Wham! to the Slaughter.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (2 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5)
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Categories Pun of the Day Tags celebrities, figures of speech, george michael, heavy metal, music Leave a comment
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Pun Archive

Best Puns (so far)

  • Best of @pungents #CanadianAct... 15 votes, average: 5.00 out of 515 votes, average: 5.00 out of 515 votes, average: 5.00 out of 515 votes, average: 5.00 out of 515 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5 (5.00 out of 5)
  • Are you crooked? Don’t make ... 11 votes, average: 5.00 out of 511 votes, average: 5.00 out of 511 votes, average: 5.00 out of 511 votes, average: 5.00 out of 511 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5 (5.00 out of 5)
  • The tiniest scientists have us... 11 votes, average: 5.00 out of 511 votes, average: 5.00 out of 511 votes, average: 5.00 out of 511 votes, average: 5.00 out of 511 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5 (5.00 out of 5)
  • The gangland baseball star est... 6 votes, average: 5.00 out of 56 votes, average: 5.00 out of 56 votes, average: 5.00 out of 56 votes, average: 5.00 out of 56 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5 (5.00 out of 5)
  • Frightened bovines act cow her... 409 votes, average: 4.98 out of 5409 votes, average: 4.98 out of 5409 votes, average: 4.98 out of 5409 votes, average: 4.98 out of 5409 votes, average: 4.98 out of 5 (4.98 out of 5)
  • Be a lumberjack. Saw the world... 12 votes, average: 4.92 out of 512 votes, average: 4.92 out of 512 votes, average: 4.92 out of 512 votes, average: 4.92 out of 512 votes, average: 4.92 out of 5 (4.92 out of 5)
  • Cowboys don’t roll joints. T... 21 votes, average: 4.90 out of 521 votes, average: 4.90 out of 521 votes, average: 4.90 out of 521 votes, average: 4.90 out of 521 votes, average: 4.90 out of 5 (4.90 out of 5)
  • During my time as an execution... 10 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 5 (4.90 out of 5)
  • Whenever I leave the country p... 10 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 5 (4.90 out of 5)
  • I get upset about Asian canine... 10 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 5 (4.90 out of 5)
  • A famous composer was also a c... 10 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 5 (4.90 out of 5)
  • Boo-merang: when you angrily s... 10 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 5 (4.90 out of 5)
  • My sister is marrying an organ... 9 votes, average: 4.89 out of 59 votes, average: 4.89 out of 59 votes, average: 4.89 out of 59 votes, average: 4.89 out of 59 votes, average: 4.89 out of 5 (4.89 out of 5)
  • Cannibalism is tough. It’s D... 8 votes, average: 4.88 out of 58 votes, average: 4.88 out of 58 votes, average: 4.88 out of 58 votes, average: 4.88 out of 58 votes, average: 4.88 out of 5 (4.88 out of 5)
  • JOURNAL OF APPLED SCIENCE 8 votes, average: 4.88 out of 58 votes, average: 4.88 out of 58 votes, average: 4.88 out of 58 votes, average: 4.88 out of 58 votes, average: 4.88 out of 5 (4.88 out of 5)
  • How do epic poets hijack a shi... 15 votes, average: 4.87 out of 515 votes, average: 4.87 out of 515 votes, average: 4.87 out of 515 votes, average: 4.87 out of 515 votes, average: 4.87 out of 5 (4.87 out of 5)
  • Which Transformers had fake br... 12 votes, average: 4.83 out of 512 votes, average: 4.83 out of 512 votes, average: 4.83 out of 512 votes, average: 4.83 out of 512 votes, average: 4.83 out of 5 (4.83 out of 5)
  • Whenever I see five toes, I kn... 14 votes, average: 4.79 out of 514 votes, average: 4.79 out of 514 votes, average: 4.79 out of 514 votes, average: 4.79 out of 514 votes, average: 4.79 out of 5 (4.79 out of 5)
  • Sleep? There’s a nap for tha... 18 votes, average: 4.78 out of 518 votes, average: 4.78 out of 518 votes, average: 4.78 out of 518 votes, average: 4.78 out of 518 votes, average: 4.78 out of 5 (4.78 out of 5)
  • Which branch of science is ded... 9 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 5 (4.78 out of 5)
  • Wherewolves are endangered. 9 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 5 (4.78 out of 5)
  • Predicting the wind is a vane ... 9 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 5 (4.78 out of 5)
  • Before proving his own existen... 43 votes, average: 4.77 out of 543 votes, average: 4.77 out of 543 votes, average: 4.77 out of 543 votes, average: 4.77 out of 543 votes, average: 4.77 out of 5 (4.77 out of 5)
  • Nietzsche joined Facebook, and... 16 votes, average: 4.75 out of 516 votes, average: 4.75 out of 516 votes, average: 4.75 out of 516 votes, average: 4.75 out of 516 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5 (4.75 out of 5)
  • Most newspaper editors have ty... 12 votes, average: 4.75 out of 512 votes, average: 4.75 out of 512 votes, average: 4.75 out of 512 votes, average: 4.75 out of 512 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5 (4.75 out of 5)
  • Best of #KennethColeTweets by ... 8 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5 (4.75 out of 5)
  • Most people can’t write poet... 8 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5 (4.75 out of 5)
  • A husband was accused by his w... 8 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5 (4.75 out of 5)
  • Call me scent o’ mental, but... 15 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 5 (4.73 out of 5)
  • I’m good at solving labyrint... 15 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 5 (4.73 out of 5)
  • Which toy company believes in ... 15 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 5 (4.73 out of 5)
  • Thoreau bred horses. 11 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 5 (4.73 out of 5)
  • Rubbing up against strangers i... 11 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 5 (4.73 out of 5)
  • The favourite music of menstru... 11 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 5 (4.73 out of 5)
  • Bedouin nomads are known for t... 28 votes, average: 4.71 out of 528 votes, average: 4.71 out of 528 votes, average: 4.71 out of 528 votes, average: 4.71 out of 528 votes, average: 4.71 out of 5 (4.71 out of 5)
  • To use algebra to determine th... 7 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 5 (4.71 out of 5)
  • If Jesus had weighed 450 pound... 7 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 5 (4.71 out of 5)
  • I’m an expert on Fascist Ita... 7 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 5 (4.71 out of 5)
  • The government bill to ban alc... 10 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 5 (4.70 out of 5)
  • I woke up beside an elephant. ... 10 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 5 (4.70 out of 5)
  • Austria started WWI because it... 10 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 5 (4.70 out of 5)
  • I’m forming a Kindergarten M... 10 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 5 (4.70 out of 5)
  • Poor typists are rather un qwe... 16 votes, average: 4.69 out of 516 votes, average: 4.69 out of 516 votes, average: 4.69 out of 516 votes, average: 4.69 out of 516 votes, average: 4.69 out of 5 (4.69 out of 5)
  • Jesus told a lot of stories ab... 19 votes, average: 4.68 out of 519 votes, average: 4.68 out of 519 votes, average: 4.68 out of 519 votes, average: 4.68 out of 519 votes, average: 4.68 out of 5 (4.68 out of 5)
  • I met a cannibal in Mongolia. ... 15 votes, average: 4.67 out of 515 votes, average: 4.67 out of 515 votes, average: 4.67 out of 515 votes, average: 4.67 out of 515 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5 (4.67 out of 5)
  • Which celebrity microwaves his... 15 votes, average: 4.67 out of 515 votes, average: 4.67 out of 515 votes, average: 4.67 out of 515 votes, average: 4.67 out of 515 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5 (4.67 out of 5)
  • The birth-control pill is no g... 15 votes, average: 4.67 out of 515 votes, average: 4.67 out of 515 votes, average: 4.67 out of 515 votes, average: 4.67 out of 515 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5 (4.67 out of 5)
  • Sitting down is something I ch... 12 votes, average: 4.67 out of 512 votes, average: 4.67 out of 512 votes, average: 4.67 out of 512 votes, average: 4.67 out of 512 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5 (4.67 out of 5)
  • A defibullator saves lies. 9 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5 (4.67 out of 5)
  • I got a bad haircut in Stockho... 9 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5 (4.67 out of 5)
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