Dear Pun Gents,
My work team needs a clever name for a marathon. We do pre-employment screening tests, e.g. drug tests, breath-alcohol tests, physicals, etc. Nothing too vulgar because we are representing our company, but clever and funny would be suitable. Please help!
~Sarah, Edmonton, AB

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Testy Feelings
2. Tempest in a Pee Cup
3. Running some Tests
4. Urining for Victory
5. The out of breathalyzers
6. Big Screen Thrillers
7. The Hired Stuff
8. Who Let the Drugs Out
9. Physical Labour
10. HRmy
11. Run to the Bathroom
12. Vial Behaviour
13. No Test for the Wicked

Dear Pun Gents, we need a fun team name for our five-person relay team for the God’s Country Marathon. We would like it to include something about our fund-raising efforts for a new town library. Thanks for your help! ~Nicole, Coudersport, PA

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Shelf Service
2. Stacks of Cash
3. Running for Covers
4. Spineless Runners
5. 26 Smiles
6. Shelfish
7. Run on the Banks
8. Take the Money and Run
9. Bookie’s Bet
10. Fund Intended

Dear Pun Gents: The JDRF (Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation) is starting a running club to train and do some races, with a marathon at the end of the season. We’re looking for a name. Some words to spark your sass: insulin, pancreas, glucose, islet cells. ~Sarah, Excelsior, MN

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. [Running with] Extreme Insulins
2. We didn’t just bond: We Glucose
3. Banting and Panting
4. You Sugar Me All Night Long
5. No Man Is An Islet
6. Tryabetes [or Tri-abetes for Triathlon]
7. Pancreassassins
8. Don’t Believe the Type
9. Diabeat You Up
10. Do or Diabetes

Dear Pun Gents, we need a team name. Twelve of us (7 ladies, 5 gents) are doing a race called the Ragnar Relay: a 200-mile race from Huntington Beach to San Diego. The race takes about 24 hours, with running straight through. Maybe something to do with Lactic Acid. Some names already used are: Lactic Acid Flashbacks; Dear Legs, I am Sorry; We Got the Runs. ~Zach, California

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Ragnarok Stars (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ragnar%C3%B6k)
2. Lactated Shin Consultants
3. 1 Day and Confused
4. SoCal Hoaxes (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sokal_affair)
5. Dozen Get Any Easier
6. Runnin’ Ragnared
7. Miley Sigh-us.
8. The SDTees
9. Two-Four the Show
10. Marathunder
11. Sweatier Report
12. Sole Searching

Dear Pun Gents, I and 11 of my friends are running in a 178-mile relay race, the Reno Tahoe Odyssey. Most of us are structural engineers with a few other professions thrown in the mix (accountant, physical therapist, server etc). We ran this race last year under the name “Team Honey Badger: because we don’t give a sh!t.” however that name must go. We enjoy drinking, having a good time and running of course. Also, this year we have an international teammate coming in from New Zealand.  ~Matthew, Nevada

AS THE PUN GENTS

1. Reno-Ovation
2. Odyssissies
3. Smilers
4. Destructuralists
5. Busting out of the Joints
6. Knee Joint Venture
7. Runnilingus
8. Tahosana
9. Kiwi to Win

Dear Pun Gents, we’re a group of nine women who love to drink are headed to Las Vegas for the half-marathon the first week of December 2011.  We need a clever name for our team shirts.  Please help!  ~Katharine, San Antonio, TX

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Martini Boppers
2. A Stirred in the Hand
3. 13-Miley Cyruses
4. 13 Miles, 26 Oz
5. Mango Lasses
6. Queens of the Cosmo’s
7. Boozundeit
8. Laps and Relapse
9. Kahlualass
10. Tequila Stocking Birds
11. Running on Empties
12. Raising the Bartender
13. Talk the Detox
14. Tavern and Shirleys
15. Beers are not Enough
16. Desert Heat
17. Jet Legged
18. Stride Me
19. The Vodkouple (if there were two of you)
20. Distill my Heart
21. PS thanks for the donation!

Dear Pun Gents, we’re 5 girls, 2 guys running in an ultra marathon starting at one brewing company and ending at another. Need a short, drinking-related name! ~Heather, Roeland Park, KS

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. We Run Pasteur
2. Faster, Higher, Lager
3. Hops Scotch
4. Rock Hard ABVs [Alcohol By Volume]
5. Barrely Alive

Dear Pun Gents, two other ladies and I are running a marathon relay and we need a punny team name, possibly incorporating our love for imbibing, running, and/or how not fast we are. Thanks! ~Erika, Seattle, WA

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. The 26ers [26 mile race/ 26 oz bottle of booze]
2. Jog Wild
3. Pain for Drinks
4. Limbibers
5. Pace Be With You
6. Running on Empties