I’m having a Lord of the Rings dinner party! We’re having Hamwise-Sandwichees, with a side of Frodo salad, followed by frog Legolas and Aragorn on the cob. Dessert will be a bowl of mango Saruman and a vodka Gimli.

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What did the truckload of sheep say to the ghost?

“We’re a freight of ewe!”

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I invited the Dalai Lama over for dinner, but he said Buddha that, which is just as well, as I’m willing Tibet you anything that he would have run a monk.

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