During my time as an executioner, I made sure to be head of the game, by acquiring a unique skull set, from the time I was a guillotiney bopper. I got gallowing reviews which was always excellent noose. Even though I hung my clients out to dry (though sometimes I got them stoned) I never faced the firing line. Of course, the work is no longer shocking; these days the business won’t survive without capital injections, which makes me sigh at night. My goal nonetheless is to fill every day with poisonable experiences.
For a little person with a barbecue, the steaks are always high.
Cannibalism is tough. It’s Doug eat Doug out there.
Call me scent o’ mental, but when I talk to you I can smell the crazy.
Which animals like to get drunk? Caribous. They love elkohol, they gazelle it down; especially Moosehead. There’s nothing quite like an ice cold deer.
Sitting down is something I chairish.
Whenever I see five toes, I know something is a foot.
How do epic poets hijack a ship? “Prepare to be bored dead.”
Boo-merang: when you angrily send back your pie.
Hisspanics are afraid of snakes.