My garden came up crooked. It’s true what they say about the best laid plants…
figures of speech
The skin clinic’s online presence finally returned after a period of reconstruction. The dermatologist congratulated the webmaster, saying “Well this is a site for psoriasis!”
Russian dictators are the best. They’re the crème de la Kremlin.
Solving constipation is a matter of bran over brown.
When someone runs over a cat, and it has to be cleaned off the street, who picks up the tabby?
Hold your nose proudly in the bathroom. Don’t smell yourself shart.
Gambling addicts who see those Vegas casino lights don’t have a chance. It’s like lamps to the slotter.
Why do dictators speak to the masses from balconies? Haven’t they heard that no ledge is power?
What do you call it when a French psychoanalyst falls on the winter ice?
A froidian slip of course!
Skydivers chute first, ask questions later. No wonder they’re so well grounded.


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