religion

TORAH HOLE IN HER

Dear Pun Gents, I am in desperate need of a punny roller derby name! I would really like a badass, mock violent one that has to do with me being Jewish or Diabetic–pretty please! If you can think of as many as possible that would be greatly appreciated. You guys rock, thank you! ~Elyse, Flagstaff, AZ

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Die! Abbey Tic
  2. Hebrewno Mars
  3. Jewlia ‘Wild’ Child
  4. Izzy Rails (Israel)
  5. Is Rolly
  6. Queen Insulina
  7. Jeru Slam!
  8. Ruth lass
  9. Blood Sugar Baby
  10. The Glucagoner
  11. Shiva-lry is dead
  12. Shiva LeBoeuf
  13. Little Prick
  14. Finger Pricking Good
  15. Synagogue Reflex
  16. Torah Hole in Her
  17. Type 2 Killer
  18. Judge Dreidel
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SQUAT WOULD JESUS DO?

Dear Pun Gents, our church is presenting a seminar on holistic fitness which would include the physical, emotional and spiritual. We would like a catchy title for the event. ~Ron, Toronto (long-time fan)

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Drop and Give Me Twenty Hail Maries
  2. Soular Power
  3. Shake Psalm Action
  4. Squat Would Jesus Do?
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EQUAL RITES

Dear Pun Gents, something about freedom of religion I can use in a skit (eg for ‘peaceful assembly’, a kid making a lego sculpture) ~Aiedail, Livonia

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Rapper: Christ Cross
  2. Buddha Man [Boo the Man]
  3. Old people who’ve had joint replacement surgery enjoy freedom of wors hips
  4. Bible? In this country you can buy whatever bull you choose.
  5. Those who practice religious oppression will get a few pious in the face.
  6. Hindu what you want
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FERMENT BELIEVER

Dear Pun Gents, I home-brew beer and I’m looking to create a ‘patron saint of beer’ for a logo. Something along the lines of my old favorite: “Patron Saint of Fireworks: St. Mary IgniteUs. (you can use that one) ~Ernest, Worcester, MA

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. St. Brewno
  2. St. Al Cahal
  3. St. Maximus Buzzinski
  4. St. Ibeerius
  5. St. Inebrius Di Still
  6. St. Stoutus
  7. St. Hopsgood
  8. Thomas A-wine-us – The saint with an ale’o
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THANK YOUR LOUSY STARS

Dear Pun Gents,  I am writing an article for our church newsletter about being thankful in spite of adversity and need a title for the article. ~Tuan, Honolulu (long-time fan)

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Get Stoic-ed
  2. It’s Chic to Turn Cheek
  3. Thank Your Lousy Stars
  4. Pray Of Light
  5. Sufferman
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SAVIOUR THE DATE!

Dear Pun Gents, I’m making a movie poster for an art history class on early Netherlandish paintings and I’m trying to crack a joke about the ‘mystic marriage’ of St. Catherine to the baby Jesus. HELP! What would make a funny title? ~Leslie, Baton Rouge, LA

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. My How He’s Groom!
  2. J.C. and the Pious Cats
  3. Saviour the Date!
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WE’VE ACHIEVED CRITICAL MASS

Dear Pun Gents, I need a headline for an article I’m writing for our church newsletter—about new members who will be inducted into the church upon completion of membership classes. ~Tuan, Honolulu, HI

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. We’ll be enjoying some wine and Jesus.
  2. We hope you find Yahweh around.
  3. Want some pastor and meets us?
  4. Flock up your daughters!
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HOPIN FOR BUSINESS

Dear Pun Gents, for a theology project at school I have to make a bumper sticker explaining the theological virtues — faith, hope, and love. Please help me! It’s the end of the quarter and I NEED a good grade! Thank you sooooooooo much!!!!!! ~Emma, Missoula, MT

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Without Faith, Hope and Love we all get a FHLing grade.
  2. Catch me on FaithBook (read the Bible)
  3. Hopin for Business
  4. Set the Lovin to High.
  5. Faith Hope and Love are the illogical virtues.
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