religion

Why did the priest eat nothing but kitchen scraps and refuse? Because he said, “It’s God’s swill.”

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SAVE OUR SOLES

Dear Pun Gents, need a team name for Las Vegas Sinners and Saints Half Marathon. Team consists of men and women, all from same church of different ages and jobs, all from Menifee California. ~Jerhi, Menifee, CA
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
  1. Heavin’ on Earth
  2. Save our Soles
  3. Paradise is Sweat
  4. Carry the Cross Trainers
  5. Running for Awfuls
  6. Women and Menifee Taste
  7. Saints and Sprinters
  8. The Evil Kneevils
  9. Book of Legsodus
  10. Halfway to Hell
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TORAH HOLE IN HER

Dear Pun Gents, I am in desperate need of a punny roller derby name! I would really like a badass, mock violent one that has to do with me being Jewish or Diabetic–pretty please! If you can think of as many as possible that would be greatly appreciated. You guys rock, thank you! ~Elyse, Flagstaff, AZ

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Die! Abbey Tic
  2. Hebrewno Mars
  3. Jewlia ‘Wild’ Child
  4. Izzy Rails (Israel)
  5. Is Rolly
  6. Queen Insulina
  7. Jeru Slam!
  8. Ruth lass
  9. Blood Sugar Baby
  10. The Glucagoner
  11. Shiva-lry is dead
  12. Shiva LeBoeuf
  13. Little Prick
  14. Finger Pricking Good
  15. Synagogue Reflex
  16. Torah Hole in Her
  17. Type 2 Killer
  18. Judge Dreidel
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SQUAT WOULD JESUS DO?

Dear Pun Gents, our church is presenting a seminar on holistic fitness which would include the physical, emotional and spiritual. We would like a catchy title for the event. ~Ron, Toronto (long-time fan)

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Drop and Give Me Twenty Hail Maries
  2. Soular Power
  3. Shake Psalm Action
  4. Squat Would Jesus Do?
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EQUAL RITES

Dear Pun Gents, something about freedom of religion I can use in a skit (eg for ‘peaceful assembly’, a kid making a lego sculpture) ~Aiedail, Livonia

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Rapper: Christ Cross
  2. Buddha Man [Boo the Man]
  3. Old people who’ve had joint replacement surgery enjoy freedom of wors hips
  4. Bible? In this country you can buy whatever bull you choose.
  5. Those who practice religious oppression will get a few pious in the face.
  6. Hindu what you want
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FERMENT BELIEVER

Dear Pun Gents, I home-brew beer and I’m looking to create a ‘patron saint of beer’ for a logo. Something along the lines of my old favorite: “Patron Saint of Fireworks: St. Mary IgniteUs. (you can use that one) ~Ernest, Worcester, MA

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. St. Brewno
  2. St. Al Cahal
  3. St. Maximus Buzzinski
  4. St. Ibeerius
  5. St. Inebrius Di Still
  6. St. Stoutus
  7. St. Hopsgood
  8. Thomas A-wine-us – The saint with an ale’o
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THANK YOUR LOUSY STARS

Dear Pun Gents,  I am writing an article for our church newsletter about being thankful in spite of adversity and need a title for the article. ~Tuan, Honolulu (long-time fan)

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Get Stoic-ed
  2. It’s Chic to Turn Cheek
  3. Thank Your Lousy Stars
  4. Pray Of Light
  5. Sufferman
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