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  • Home
    • Puns on Demand
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  • All-Time Best Puns
  • Puns By Topic
  • Videos
  • About the Gents
    • What is a pun?
    • Contact the Pun Gents
07/16/2025

Why was Detective Twain encouraged after visiting the forensics lab in the case of The Bubblegum Murders?

Because he had the prints – and he’d soon have the popper.

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Categories Pun of the Day Tags convoluted, crime, literature Leave a comment
07/16/2025

What’s a vegetarian’s favourite place to dine?

An arboretum.

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Categories Pun of the Day Tags food and drink, nature Leave a comment
07/15/2025

People who drink suntan lotion aka suicide balmers.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (5 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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Categories Pun of the Day Tags death, terrorism Leave a comment
07/15/2025

Statistical data show that stool softeners like Metamucil follow a log-normal distribution.

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Categories Pun of the Day, x Tags constipation, metamucil, poo jokes, statistics
07/15/2025

Aspen, Colorado is a hotbed of proctological accidents.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (1 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)
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Categories Pun of the Day Tags proctological humour Leave a comment
07/14/2025

The guy who sipped his beers was into malt licker.

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Categories Pun of the Day Tags booze, food and drink Leave a comment
07/14/2025

Which soft drink is most violently contagious?

SARSparilla.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
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Categories Pun of the Day Tags diseases, food and drink Leave a comment
07/14/2025

Drinking caffeine late at night could impregnate you! By artificial insomniation.

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Categories Pun of the Day Tags coffee, drinking, insomnia, ivf, pregnancy Leave a comment
07/13/2025

The unmarried Mafia boss was affectionately known as The Old Made.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
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Categories Pun of the Day Tags crime, relationships Leave a comment
07/13/2025

Subway turnstile jumpers are no-fare-ious criminals.

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Categories Pun of the Day, x Tags crime, public transit, subways, transit
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Pun Archive

Best Puns (so far)

  • Best of @pungents #CanadianAct... 15 votes, average: 5.00 out of 515 votes, average: 5.00 out of 515 votes, average: 5.00 out of 515 votes, average: 5.00 out of 515 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5 (5.00 out of 5)
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  • Are you crooked? Don’t make ... 11 votes, average: 5.00 out of 511 votes, average: 5.00 out of 511 votes, average: 5.00 out of 511 votes, average: 5.00 out of 511 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5 (5.00 out of 5)
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  • The tiniest scientists have us... 11 votes, average: 5.00 out of 511 votes, average: 5.00 out of 511 votes, average: 5.00 out of 511 votes, average: 5.00 out of 511 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5 (5.00 out of 5)
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  • The gangland baseball star est... 6 votes, average: 5.00 out of 56 votes, average: 5.00 out of 56 votes, average: 5.00 out of 56 votes, average: 5.00 out of 56 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5 (5.00 out of 5)
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  • Frightened bovines act cow her... 409 votes, average: 4.98 out of 5409 votes, average: 4.98 out of 5409 votes, average: 4.98 out of 5409 votes, average: 4.98 out of 5409 votes, average: 4.98 out of 5 (4.98 out of 5)
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  • Be a lumberjack. Saw the world... 12 votes, average: 4.92 out of 512 votes, average: 4.92 out of 512 votes, average: 4.92 out of 512 votes, average: 4.92 out of 512 votes, average: 4.92 out of 5 (4.92 out of 5)
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  • Cowboys don’t roll joints. T... 21 votes, average: 4.90 out of 521 votes, average: 4.90 out of 521 votes, average: 4.90 out of 521 votes, average: 4.90 out of 521 votes, average: 4.90 out of 5 (4.90 out of 5)
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  • During my time as an execution... 10 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 5 (4.90 out of 5)
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  • Whenever I leave the country p... 10 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 5 (4.90 out of 5)
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  • I get upset about Asian canine... 10 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 5 (4.90 out of 5)
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  • A famous composer was also a c... 10 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 5 (4.90 out of 5)
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  • Boo-merang: when you angrily s... 10 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 5 (4.90 out of 5)
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  • My sister is marrying an organ... 9 votes, average: 4.89 out of 59 votes, average: 4.89 out of 59 votes, average: 4.89 out of 59 votes, average: 4.89 out of 59 votes, average: 4.89 out of 5 (4.89 out of 5)
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  • Cannibalism is tough. It’s D... 8 votes, average: 4.88 out of 58 votes, average: 4.88 out of 58 votes, average: 4.88 out of 58 votes, average: 4.88 out of 58 votes, average: 4.88 out of 5 (4.88 out of 5)
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  • JOURNAL OF APPLED SCIENCE 8 votes, average: 4.88 out of 58 votes, average: 4.88 out of 58 votes, average: 4.88 out of 58 votes, average: 4.88 out of 58 votes, average: 4.88 out of 5 (4.88 out of 5)
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  • How do epic poets hijack a shi... 15 votes, average: 4.87 out of 515 votes, average: 4.87 out of 515 votes, average: 4.87 out of 515 votes, average: 4.87 out of 515 votes, average: 4.87 out of 5 (4.87 out of 5)
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  • Which Transformers had fake br... 12 votes, average: 4.83 out of 512 votes, average: 4.83 out of 512 votes, average: 4.83 out of 512 votes, average: 4.83 out of 512 votes, average: 4.83 out of 5 (4.83 out of 5)
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  • Whenever I see five toes, I kn... 15 votes, average: 4.80 out of 515 votes, average: 4.80 out of 515 votes, average: 4.80 out of 515 votes, average: 4.80 out of 515 votes, average: 4.80 out of 5 (4.80 out of 5)
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  • Sleep? There’s a nap for tha... 19 votes, average: 4.79 out of 519 votes, average: 4.79 out of 519 votes, average: 4.79 out of 519 votes, average: 4.79 out of 519 votes, average: 4.79 out of 5 (4.79 out of 5)
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  • Which branch of science is ded... 9 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 5 (4.78 out of 5)
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  • Most people can’t write poet... 9 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 5 (4.78 out of 5)
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  • Wherewolves are endangered. 9 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 5 (4.78 out of 5)
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  • Predicting the wind is a vane ... 9 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 5 (4.78 out of 5)
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  • Before proving his own existen... 43 votes, average: 4.77 out of 543 votes, average: 4.77 out of 543 votes, average: 4.77 out of 543 votes, average: 4.77 out of 543 votes, average: 4.77 out of 5 (4.77 out of 5)
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  • Nietzsche joined Facebook, and... 16 votes, average: 4.75 out of 516 votes, average: 4.75 out of 516 votes, average: 4.75 out of 516 votes, average: 4.75 out of 516 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5 (4.75 out of 5)
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  • Most newspaper editors have ty... 12 votes, average: 4.75 out of 512 votes, average: 4.75 out of 512 votes, average: 4.75 out of 512 votes, average: 4.75 out of 512 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5 (4.75 out of 5)
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  • Best of #KennethColeTweets by ... 8 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5 (4.75 out of 5)
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  • A husband was accused by his w... 8 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5 (4.75 out of 5)
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  • Call me scent o’ mental, but... 15 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 5 (4.73 out of 5)
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  • I’m good at solving labyrint... 15 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 5 (4.73 out of 5)
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  • Which toy company believes in ... 15 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 5 (4.73 out of 5)
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  • Thoreau bred horses. 11 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 5 (4.73 out of 5)
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  • Rubbing up against strangers i... 11 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 5 (4.73 out of 5)
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  • Bedouin nomads are known for t... 28 votes, average: 4.71 out of 528 votes, average: 4.71 out of 528 votes, average: 4.71 out of 528 votes, average: 4.71 out of 528 votes, average: 4.71 out of 5 (4.71 out of 5)
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  • To use algebra to determine th... 7 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 5 (4.71 out of 5)
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  • If Jesus had weighed 450 pound... 7 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 5 (4.71 out of 5)
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  • I’m an expert on Fascist Ita... 7 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 5 (4.71 out of 5)
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  • The government bill to ban alc... 10 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 5 (4.70 out of 5)
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  • I woke up beside an elephant. ... 10 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 5 (4.70 out of 5)
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  • Austria started WWI because it... 10 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 5 (4.70 out of 5)
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  • I’m forming a Kindergarten M... 10 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 5 (4.70 out of 5)
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  • Poor typists are rather un qwe... 16 votes, average: 4.69 out of 516 votes, average: 4.69 out of 516 votes, average: 4.69 out of 516 votes, average: 4.69 out of 516 votes, average: 4.69 out of 5 (4.69 out of 5)
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  • I met a cannibal in Mongolia. ... 15 votes, average: 4.67 out of 515 votes, average: 4.67 out of 515 votes, average: 4.67 out of 515 votes, average: 4.67 out of 515 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5 (4.67 out of 5)
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  • Which celebrity microwaves his... 15 votes, average: 4.67 out of 515 votes, average: 4.67 out of 515 votes, average: 4.67 out of 515 votes, average: 4.67 out of 515 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5 (4.67 out of 5)
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  • The birth-control pill is no g... 15 votes, average: 4.67 out of 515 votes, average: 4.67 out of 515 votes, average: 4.67 out of 515 votes, average: 4.67 out of 515 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5 (4.67 out of 5)
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  • Sitting down is something I ch... 12 votes, average: 4.67 out of 512 votes, average: 4.67 out of 512 votes, average: 4.67 out of 512 votes, average: 4.67 out of 512 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5 (4.67 out of 5)
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  • A defibullator saves lies. 9 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5 (4.67 out of 5)
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  • I got a bad haircut in Stockho... 9 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5 (4.67 out of 5)
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  • Is Rowan Atkinson’s career o... 9 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5 (4.67 out of 5)
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  • Renegade theologians are now a... 6 votes, average: 4.67 out of 56 votes, average: 4.67 out of 56 votes, average: 4.67 out of 56 votes, average: 4.67 out of 56 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5 (4.67 out of 5)
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