If you beat someone with a glass flask, you’ll inflict bottley harm.
Aspiring HVAC contractors should make sure they have their ducts in a row.
To win at intramural prison softball your team needs to jail at the right time.
Do hip ‘eaus drink Perrier?
What did Archimedes’ wife say to him before he took his bath?
“You reeka!“
After the Statue of Liberty was stolen, David Copperfield was put on trial to be judged by his peers. But he was found not guilty, as he was a con juror.
Americans are taking on too much debt, and it’s putting kinks in the economy. They love state-owe-masochism, getting fiscaled, bondage, and other stimulus measures. This is why they are being punished on the S&M 500.
The best part of befriending an obese celebrity? Unfattered assess!
Mushroom pickers have loose morels.


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