The doctors went lawn bowling in the middle of my surgery. Needless to say they bocce’d the procedure.
accidents
If I was trapped 69 days in a hole, I wouldn’t mine. It’s a bit too Chile on the surface.
I was wounded by a machine gun. It looks really uzi.
When my girlfriend stepped on a landmine, she became my maim squeeze.
You can tell if someone burned down their house for insurance reasons, if the smoke is bill owing.
I accidentally got castrated before Christmas. But at least I’m off Santa’s naddy list.
The necrophiliac gold-digger married a drowned corpse because she heard he was bloated.
Every time I scrape myself, I have a big cell abrasion.
Sticking your finger in a light socket is an a jolt remedy.
Hear the pun about the cow who jumped off a tall building? It’s ledge end dairy.