THE PILSNERS OF THE EARTH

Dear Pun Gents, I’m writing a story about a castle that was converted into a tavern. I think it needs a punny name, don’t you? ~Hadley, Saskatoon, SK

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Sit Your Buttress Down
  2. Come Get Pilastered
  3. The Bar Bican
  4. The DramBridge
  5. Get Your Moater Running
  6. Redoubtful Renovation
  7. We’re All Out of Stockade
  8. Lunchin’ in a Dungeon
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MATCHISMO

Dear Pun Gents, I just started my own matchmaking business and have been offered a five-minute slot on a South African radio station. The slot is called Pun Review. I need to tell people about dating, matchmaking, the first date, etc, and I need to use as many clever puns as I can. Please help!! ~Bonita, Johannesburg

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Our service is a model of a fish-in-the-sea.
  2. Looking to get lady?
  3. You pick up chicks or we pick up the cheque.
  4. Did somebody sneeze? Match-You!
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GENTLEMEN PREFER BLOGS

Dear Pun Gents, our CEO is starting a blog with two other high-up ladies in the company and are looking for a name for it. They are all members of the board if that helps. ~John, Birmingham, UK (long-time fan)

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Blogs Have More Fun
  2. Blong-term Strategies
  3. I CEO U
  4. Chairmen of the Bored
  5. Three’s Company
  6. Wisdom of the Profits
  7. Veep Tweets
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In marketing news, Viagra has been targeting its product to universities—especially the sophomore students.

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