MATCHISMO

Dear Pun Gents, I just started my own matchmaking business and have been offered a five-minute slot on a South African radio station. The slot is called Pun Review. I need to tell people about dating, matchmaking, the first date, etc, and I need to use as many clever puns as I can. Please help!! ~Bonita, Johannesburg

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Our service is a model of a fish-in-the-sea.
  2. Looking to get lady?
  3. You pick up chicks or we pick up the cheque.
  4. Did somebody sneeze? Match-You!
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GENTLEMEN PREFER BLOGS

Dear Pun Gents, our CEO is starting a blog with two other high-up ladies in the company and are looking for a name for it. They are all members of the board if that helps. ~John, Birmingham, UK (long-time fan)

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Blogs Have More Fun
  2. Blong-term Strategies
  3. I CEO U
  4. Chairmen of the Bored
  5. Three’s Company
  6. Wisdom of the Profits
  7. Veep Tweets
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Hear about the baseball pitcher who refused to endorse Wal-Mart, because it was a big balk store?

It’s true; it also didn’t help that they refuse to let their workers strike, and they have a large selection of woks. He said “I field strongly about this. Wal-Mart may seem like a short stop on a shopping trip, but in fact, it’s a retail umpire. It’s bat for the economy; they’re out to catcher the whole market!”

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