Hear about the chemist who couldn’t decide what to eat at a dim sum restaurant? As they laid plates before him, he sat there, studying the periodic table of aliments.

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The theatre director used the solidified carbon dioxide to cathartic effect. “By the end of the performance,” he predicted, “there will be no dry ice in the house!”

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Periodic Table of Elements Puns

Which element of the periodic table obeys all the laws? Copper.

Sewing machines are made from aloominum.

Tilemakers use floorine.

Iron is expensive; if you want some you must pay a Fe.

Gravediggers use barium.

Why should punsters go to hell? We’ve already sulfured enough!

Las Vegas must be made of tin. Because it’s Sn City.

The lazy chemist disliked reciting the more obscure elements; it would bohrium to death.

The divorced chemist had to make antimony payments.

Bromine – the chemical for angry black men.

Compounds of which noble gas are hard to spot? Argon.

The film about the chemist in Vietnam? Boron on the Fourth of July.

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