Don’t forget to commemorate Penis Re-Attachment Month, aka Nomember.
holidays
I always get lost driving on New Year’s eve. I blame the Old Lane Signs.
You better be good for Christmas. On December 25, the Claus come out.
All the best Valentine’s gifts are made of wooed.
I invested in potatoes, because someone said I’d be Dublin my fortune. So Irished everything I had.
I’m tired of greeting people warmly over the holla daze.
I enjoy fish on Yum Kipper.
After three days in a tomb, you might get dehydrated. Hence the proclamation, ‘Behold the Lord, for He is a raisin!’
NED: I have an irrational fear that Santa will get tossed from his sleigh.
ED: What’s that?
NED: Claustrewphobia!
In the days leading up to Christmas, people in San Francisco did everything they could to avoid the mauls, as they were a real zoo. The only people who weren’t worried were lawyers with an escape claws.